One long week from today, the Pittsburgh Steelers head to the Mile High City to face the Denver Broncos. A little of the luster has been lost from this match-up thanks to yesterday’s manhandling by the Baltimore Ravens which knocked Denver from the ranks of the undefeated. Nothing feels better than being the team that hands another club their first loss of the year. I love being a spoilsport.

When you ask Steeler Nation to name our biggest rivals, few would mention the Broncos. There are the traditional division rivals, like the Browns and Bengals. Then there are the Patriots and Ravens, teams we’ve battled for playoff glory most of this decade. And finally we have the Cowboys, a team we faced for the Super Bowl title on three occasions and the only team which rivals the Black and Gold on the national stage.

Nope, nobody mentions the Broncos. But I’m here to rectify that. Some of you newer fans may not be aware of the history these teams have together. In many ways, it’s been a much more heated competition over the last 25 years than the so-called rivalries we have with the Browns or Bengals.

In 1989, head coach Chuck Noll pulled off a miracle. He lead a thoroughly mediocre squad to the Wild Card game. In those days, there were only 3 division winners, all of whom got byes.  Two Wild Card teams played a game to see who advanced to the final four. The Steelers won an OT thriller against the Houston Oilers when a young Rod Woodson steamrolled a punt returner, forcing a fumble which lead to the game winning FG.

The next week, the Steelers faced the Broncos.  John Elway was in the midst of leading Denver to three Super Bowls in four years (and losing all of them) so the Donkeys were heavy favorites. Merrill Hoge (yes, the ESPN guy) had the game of his life, rushing for 120 yards on only 16 carries.  Bubby Brister showed tremendous grit, playing almost an entire quarter with a concussion so severe his teammates had to literally walk him to the correct sideline. The Steelers were on the verge of a monumental upset until Elway pulled off one of his patented comebacks, throwing the go-ahead TD with 2:30 left. Yes, Chuck Noll almost made the AFC Championship game with Bubby Freakin’ Brister at quarterback. Now you know why he’s considered one of the best coaches ever.

Fast forward nine years later, Bill Cowher is coach and Kordell Stewart is our quarterback. This was when Slash was one of the most feared offensive weapons in the league and one of the most exciting players I’ve ever seen. I will never apologize for my man crush on Slash. Anyway, the Steelers were the #2 seed and welcomed the Broncos to Three Rivers Stadium. Kordell had a 33 yard TD run which sadly was the only positive in his otherwise horrific day. Three INTS and a fumble contributed to a 24-21 Broncos upset. This game will always be remembered because after Slash threw his second stupid pick in the red zone, Denver LB Bill Romanowski visibly slapped his forehead and yelled at Stewart, “Think, man. You gotta think.”

The Steelers finally got a measure of revenge during the miracle run of 2005. The Broncos had plucked QB Jake Plummer from obscurity in Phoenix and he lead them to the best record in the AFC. Pittsburgh was the lowest seed that year, faced with the daunting prospect of playing the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd seeded teams in consecutive weeks. It turned out to be their easiest game of the playoffs, as the Steelers traveled out to Denver and whupped up on the Broncos 34-17. The Black and Gold went on to defeat the Seattle Seahawks for their fifth Lombardi Trophy which set off a torrent of whining from the Pacific Northwest that continues to this day.

So you can see there’s definitely some history between our respective franchises.  If both teams are on a collision course for another epic playoff encounter, next Monday’s game takes on added importance. After all, it may end up determining who has the higher seed and thus, home field advantage.  Prior history aside, that’s something I’m sure we all agree we want on our side come January.

Memo to Fox Sports:  Never let Troy Aikman broadcast his former team again.

During the third quarter of the Pittsburgh Steelers 20-13 dismantling of the Dallas Cowboys, I sat in stunned silence as Aikman made the absolutely ridiculous claim that the Dallas defense was outplaying the Steelers top ranked unit.  What game was he watching?  Maybe he took one too many blows to the head during his playing days and has forgotten that Jerry Jones no longer signs his paychecks.  Hey Troy, you’re paid to be an unbiased commentator, not serve as an unofficial P.R. person for an overhyped and undertalented team.

There’s no denying our offense was downright brutal for much of the game.  That would be surprising to anybody who has watched exactly zero Steeler games this season.  Indianapolis and Washington also stymied the Steelers so am I to believe they are top defensive units as well?   Or maybe, if I wanted to speak the truth and not try to heap undeserving praise on a mediocre team, I would just admit the Steelers are terrible at moving the ball.

Offensive Coordinator Bruce Arians is an absolute unmitigated disaster as a play caller.  I’ve tried to spread the blame around but in this case he deserves all of it.  Don’t even start about the offensive line.  They gave up ZERO sacks in the first half when QB Ben Roethlisberger was seldom even touched.  Dallas made halftime adjustments which combined with the Steelers almost total abandonment of the run in the 2^nd half led to the defense pinning their ears back and getting after Ben to the tune of 5 sacks.  It’s hard to blame them when our O-Coordinator practically faxes our game plan over to the other team with his obvious and unintelligent calls.

Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of Arians’ regime is his continuing refusal to run the ball.  Mike Tomlin did the smart thing by deferring the kickoff, thus ensuring the Steelers would have the wind at their backs in the 4^th quarter.  However, when Pittsburgh was going the other way, Arians repeatedly dialed up pass after pass into the stiff swirling winds.  This same wind caused Skippy Reed to miss an easy FG and both punters to have miserable days but evidently Arians wasn’t paying attention to any of that.  Or maybe he was and like Wile E. Coyote, he figures there’s no questioning a sooper-genius.

It wasn’t even like our running game was performing poorly.  Both Willie Parker and Mewelde Moore were churning out positive yardage and probably would’ve chewed up turf and clock had they been given more of an opportunity.  Arians doesn’t seem to comprehend you have to be patient with 2-3 yard carries because sooner or later you wear down the defense which opens up the entire playbook.  Maybe the clown was absent the day they taught that in Offense 101.

The Blitzburgh Defense once again performed magnificently in totally humiliating Tony Romo and the rest of Dallas’ alleged Pro Bowl caliber talent.  I wonder how many unemployed Texans had to sit home in their mothers’ basements rapidly clicking on NFL.com to send 13 of these bums to Hawaii last year.  Dallas had FOUR turnovers in the first half, which I guess in Aikman World isn’t as good as the two the Steelers had, but in reality showed who had the superior defense.  Romo once again proved to be an equal opportunity choker as evidently there is no stage too big nor any game too important for him to stink out the joint.  Hey GQ, if you’re gonna play like crap, at least bring Jessica.

The downhill slide began on the first possession when S Troy Polamalu picked off an errant Romo pass.  This continued throughout as Romo made poor decisions, failed to make his reads, and was wildly inaccurate all game long.  His lone TD pass to Terrell Owens, who likewise was shut down by Can’t See Me Ike Taylor (leading ultimate team player T.O. on another of his whiny crybaby jags on the sidelines), came as a result of a nifty scramble away from the pass rush which bought the WRs about two and a half minutes to get open in the end zone.  Rookie RB Tashard Choice had a pretty good game running the ball although most of that came from the D showing too much respect to the pass.  When the Steelers wanted to stop him, like on a crucial 4^th and 1 play, they had no problems doing so.

The game was tied 3-3 at halftime when the Steelers should’ve been up by about 20.  In the 3^rd quarter, the teams continued to match ineptness for ineptness on offense although the Cowboys managed to start moving the ball with the aforementioned Choice.  They still didn’t manage much in way of points except for a long field goal and the chintzy TD to Owens.  The Steelers finally managed to put together a drive late in the quarter, ignited by a 47 yard bomb to Santonio Holmes (3-82).  They got the ball to the Cowboys 1 and then failed on four straight plays to punch it in.  It didn’t appear to be the Steelers day.

Luckily, with our defense, turning the ball over deep in enemy territory isn’t the worst gamble to make.  They put the hammer down and forced a punt, which Holmes broke for a 35 yard run back.  Again, the offense stalled and we settled for a Skippy Reed FG.  Dallas did nothing on the next possession and we took the ball back with about five minutes left.  Big Ben worked from the No Huddle, which should be renamed the No Arians since without him to call the wrong plays we actually began to move the ball.  Ben converted a crucial 4^th and centimeters to keep the drive alive and two key catches by Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington (4-58) set us up at the Dallas 6.  Heath Miller caught a little dump off to tie to the game right before the two minute warning.

Dallas took the ball and it was time to see how clutch Tony Romo could be.  He immediately answered his critics by handing the ball to Choice.  Gutsy, man.  On his next play, he manned up enough to actually throw the ball.  Unfortunately for him, he threw it to CB Deshea Townshend, who returned it back the other way for a Pick Six.  Game set match.  So once again Romo proved to be anything but Mr. Clutch and once again the Blitzburgh defense snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

All is right with the world.

As regular readers of NPC surely expect, this is where I’d usually post some random news and/or talk a little smack about our upcoming opponents. Considering this week’s game is against longtime rival the Dallas Cowboys, I’m sure many of you thought I’d unveil a masterpiece along the lines of “29 Reasons Pittsburgh Is Better Than Dallas” or “Top Ten Venereal Diseases Tony Romo Has Contracted From Skanky Blondes.”

Sorry to disappoint.

I tried to do something like that but my heart wasn’t in it. Don’t misunderstand, I hate the Cowboys, more than any team not from Cleveland or coached by a hoodie wearing douchebag. But at the same time, I also have to respect them. When you look at the NFL, there are really two teams which stand out as the crown jewel franchises. One of course is the Steelers while the only other choice has to be the Cowboys.

Whenever a team is successful, you’ll find a segment of the country jumping on the bandwagon trying to feel like winners. This allegiance is always short-lived, ending as soon as said team stops winning Super Bowls. In the late 80s, 49er gear was all over the place. Has anybody bought red and gold merchandise in over a decade? When Green Bay and Denver had their brief moments in the spotlight, they garnered a smattering of nationwide support but most of that was pity and none of it was sustained over the years. As for the most dominant team of the 00s, nobody outside of New England cares one iota about the Pats except to hate them.

The only two truly national franchises are the Steelers and Cowboys. The Cowboys call themselves “America’s Team” and while that bit of hyperbole is typical of an arrogant organization, it is also true you’re just as likely to find a Cowboy fan in Bangor, Maine or Butte, Montana as in Dallas, Texas. Likewise, Steeler Nation extends far and wide as is evidenced by the waves of Black and Gold which invade road stadiums in numbers like no other.

So why do I hate them? Why can’t I establish mutual respect and leave it at that? Why does Batman hate the Joker? Why does Superman enjoy punching Lex Luthor in the mouth? Why?

Because we are the same but opposite. One is summer while the other is the winter. One is light while the other is dark. One is good while the other is evil. I think you can figure out which is which.

The Steelers are and have always been a blue collar team which emphasizes gritty nose to the grindstone hard-work. The Cowboys are and have always been prime time flash and dash glitzy Hollywood red carpet superstars. In fact, they’ve had players named Prime Time and Hollywood.

The Steelers have always been about the whole being more than the sum of the parts. To quote the wise Mr. Spock, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.” We’ve never had a situation where one specific player is our whole franchise. We never make one player the centerpiece of an entire team. That’s all Dallas ever does. Theirs is a culture of individualism. They’ll find a great RB or a great LB or a great QB but when that player goes down (as Romo did this year or Terrell Owens did last year), the team immediately falls apart. No wonder their fans wanted Bill Cowher and his belief in the team to come and save them earlier this year.

The Cowboys are owned by an irritating jackass of a man who insists on being the team’s General Manager.  Jerry Jones shameless self-promotion stands in stark contrast to the quiet dignity exuded by one of the most respected owners in all of sports, Dan Rooney. This is no doubt why the Cowboys have experienced over a half dozen coaching changes since 1993 while we’ve had one. Their meddlesome owner is at the root of their Machiavellian “win at all costs” strategy. He will bring in any player, regardless of character or past misdeeds, if he thinks it will help them win. Locker room cancers (T.O), gun-toting maniacs (Tank Johnson), and stripper beating miscreants (Pacman Jones) are all welcome in Big D. The Steelers systematically rid themselves of such players, even if they’re supremely talented, such as in the case of Plaxico Burress, an undeniably superior WR whose pea-brained antics continue to embarrass his team to this day.

Tony Romo knows he has crossed over to the Dark Side. That’s why he recently tried to cleanse his karma by taking a foul-smelling bum to the movies. Sure, this isn’t nearly as impressive as Ben Roethlisberger using Jedi Mind Tricks to talk a crazed gunmen out of bustin’ a cap in his ass but it was nice of him to pay it forward since nobody has been luckier these past few years than ‘ol Tony. Besides, what’s so impressive about sitting next to a homeless pan-handler? He let Britney Spears sit on his lap so obviously he’s not put off by strange odors.

Look, here’s the moral of the story. Sometimes good wins but occasionally evil is triumphant. Like in Super Bowl XXX where coke-snorting Mike Irvin and his band of whoring madmen handed the Steelers their lone Super Bowl defeat when Christian gentlemen/future astroturf salesman Neil O’Donnell was paid off by Jerry Jones threw two badly timed interceptions. They’re still paying for that win as they’ve never won another. Hopefully when Good emerges victorious this week, we’ll set their playoff hopes back enough to add another year to that penance.

That’s a Lionel Richie reference, son.

You know, ‘cause he kinda looks like Nicole’s dad. Too old for you kids? I’ll try to be a little more hip.

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

And I feel fine.

What could possibly have a member of Steeler Nation thinking about the end of the world? What catastrophe could turn a person’s outlook so bleak? What disaster would lead to such depths of despair?

QB Ben Roethlisberger was seriously injured in last night’s 23-6 victory over the Washington Redskins. Preliminary reports are he fully separated his right shoulder on a goal line dive at the end of the first half. He rushed to the locker room, hip checking a defenseless and slightly anorexic Redskin cheerleader in the process, then stood on the sidelines for the rest of the game, his right arm hanging limply at his side. Ben’s a tough guy who plays through a lot of pain but I’m pretty sure he’s missing at least one game considering he couldn’t even lift the arm above his waist when congratulating teammates.

And you want to hear something crazy? I don’t care.

Backup QB Byron Leftwich came on in relief and to say he looked good is a colossal understatement. Whereas other poorly run franchises have lost their star QBs and had to trot out the inept likes of Brad Johnson or Ryan Fitzpatrick, the Steelers turned the reins over to a guy who not only can play but play well. I have no idea what the 31 other GMs in the NFL were thinking when training camp rolled around with Leftwich out of work but that explains why a lot of lousy teams continue to be lousy year after year.

Let’s start at the beginning. Head coach Mike Tomlin began the game with an onside kick which went doubly awry as we didn’t recover and were offside on the play. That set the ‘Skins up on our 40.  I’m not really a fan of crazy gambles although in this case I applaud Tomlin’s call. When you have such a devastating force as the Blitzburgh Defense at your command, you can take a few chances. Indeed, Washington went three and out then kicked a chintzy FG for a quick lead.

This pattern continued throughout the first half as the Steeler D just absolutely stifled the vaunted Redskin offense. QB Jason Campbell was under duress every time he dropped back. Every one of our LBs and DE Aaron Smith had a sack, finishing the game with a season high 7. RB Clinton Portis, who had been averaging over 5 yards/carry this season, was stuffed like a fat kid on Halloween, finishing the game with a meager 51 yards (22 of which came on one bad play). Other than TE Chris Cooley being open on dinky-dunk short check down stuff, the WRs were blanketed all game.  At halftime, the Washington offense had amassed a whopping 71 total yards.

Which would’ve been great except our offense only amassed a whopping 71 total yards. To be frank, our offense in the first half was atrocious. Remember how I said our showings against the Eagles and Giants were bad? Next verse same as the first. Big Ben looked completely confused and out-of-sorts today. He had happy feet and never seemed comfortable with what he was doing. He’d miss wide open receivers, he’d shuffle back and forth unsure of whether to run or stay put, he made several poor throws (one of which should’ve been a Pick-6) and he’d hold on to the ball too long when given time. Only his touchdown plunge which came after a blocked punt by special teams ace Andre Frazier kept the first half from being a total loss.

But the offensive crappiness can’t all be placed on Ben’s sore shoulders. When he did manage to get the ball to the WRs, they kept dropping the passes. I’m not sure when this allergy to pigskin started but it contributed to Roethlisberger starting the game 1 for 9. Worse yet was our playcalling. I know bitching about O-coordinator Bruce Arians is getting old but so are his horrific game plans. Pothole Willie Parker finally returned to the field and looked good, made his cuts, and showed that burst he’s known for. Awesome except for the fact Arians seemed intent on passing every down instead of establishing any sort of running game. He’d give Parker a carry and unless he broke a 8-9 yard gainer, it was pass pass and then pass some more. Establishing a running game means giving your star RB more than 10 scattered carries per half, Arians.

Then the second half began and it was like a totally different team in Black and Gold emerged from that locker room. With the backup QB in there, Arians was forced to focus more on the run. This made the D cheat up more to counter Parker and opened up the Tiffin Thunderbolt Nate Washington for one of his patented Long Bombers. Leftwich was coolly efficient as when he felt pressure he either stepped up and fired or stood in the pocket and absorbed the hit in order to deliver the ball down the field. Say what you want about his Carlos Zambrano-like delivery, the man has a cannon. With FWP and Mewelde Moore providing ground support and Lord Byron firing bullets all over the field, the offense finally clicked.

Two nice drives capped by TDs put the game out of reach for the overmatched Redskin offense.  Our defense held them to 200 total yards, at least 1/4 of which was gained during garbage time.  Honestly, it was like bringing an Uzi to a knife fight.  Best of all, our secondary picked off Lionel Jr. twice, finally putting an end to his Zero INTs streak so whatever terrible announcers work the game next week can shut up about that one.

Obviously, we’ll all be glued to the news and papers awaiting word on the severity of Ben’s injury. We owe a lot of this year’s success to his heroics and I wouldn’t for a second want to diminish his ability or what he means to our team. However, I think if he’s hurting and that is going to limit his effectiveness, then he should be willing to step aside for a week or two, get himself healthy (or healthier) and not come back until he can play up to his usual level. It’s pretty clear that Byron Leftwich is capable of filling in more than adequately and I don’t know about you but 100% of Lefty appears to be vastly preferable to 50% of Big Ben. Tomlin had the guts to call for the fake punt, let’s see if he has the grapefruits to do what Bill Cowher was never willing to do: tell Ben Roethlisberger to take a week off for the good of the team.

]]> http://nicepickcowher.com/2008/11/04/week-9-recap-dancing-on-the-ceiling/feed/ 2 http://nicepickcowher.com/2008/10/21/cowboy-fans-want-bill-cowher/ http://nicepickcowher.com/2008/10/21/cowboy-fans-want-bill-cowher/#comments Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:25:16 +0000 chris http://nicepickcowher.com/?p=302 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:”"; mso-padding-alt:0pt 5.4pt 0pt 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”;} The natives are restless in Big D. After losing three out of their last four games, the Dallas Cowboy players aren’t the only ones pointing fingers and pushing the panic button [...]

Cowboy Fans Want Bill Cowher - Nice Pick, Cowher - Nice Pick, Cowher - A Pittsburgh Steelers Fan Site - News, Blogs, Opinion and more.