Courtesy of steelertribute.com

Ed Bouchette from the PPG reports this afternoon that the Steelers have hired 5 time Pro Bowler Carnell Lake as their next secondary coach.

What will be the next step for the secondary? Will Colbert and Co. draft a rookie CB for Lake to groom? How does Lake’s hiring impact the way the secondary plays? Lake was one of the harder hitting safeties during his time – hit like Troy but minus the crazy. With the league focusing on keeping players ‘safe,’ is this Tomlin’s way of telling the league, ‘We aren’t changing the way this team plays football.’?

Whoops.

Looks like Anthony “Booger” McFarland isn’t about to use the Terrible Towel as his personal Snot Rag of Doom any time soon. According to the Beaver County Times, the reason my witty headline went for naught is he failed his post workout physical. Shocking, I know, considering the reason he was released in the first place was he failed a physical. Guess that Wolverine-like healing factor the Steelers thought he possessed didn’t kick in yet.

I apologize for jumping the gun in bringing you the exciting news that we signed Booger. Serves me right for reading a Post-Gazette headline entitled “Steelers sign McFarland” and then seeing ESPN‘s news ticker confirm the news and believing them both. I should obviously know better than believe our city’s largest newspaper and the undisputed leader in sports. In the future, I promise to bring you all Steeler news three or four days late, thus ensuring the information is indeed accurate.

Speaking of exciting and accurate information, one signing I can confirm is the Steelers have re-signed defensive end Nick Eason. This is no doubt a case of having to settle for your second choice because your first one didn’t pan out. Kinda like in high school when you end up going to prom with that dorky girl you used to fling paste at in Kindergarten because the cute blonde cheerleader you really wanted to go with didn’t pass her physical. I suspect the clap.

Eason will be returning for his second season in Pittsburgh after coming over from the Brownies. That right there should tell you he’s a shitty player because the last good thing to come outta Cleveland is Drew Carey. Seriously, though, I admire the Steelers desire to keep their own players instead of acquiring other teams’ scraps but that’s only admirable if the guy, you know, CAN ACTUALLY PLAY. All available evidence suggests Eason cannot.

Which is a bit of a problem considering you’d want a back-up who could actually step in for, one might say back up, the starter. When Aaron Smith went down last year, Eason was given the start. And, as I’ve recounted serveral times, the rush defense blew. He was immediately replaced by Travis Kirschke. And the rush defense still blew, but it blew slightly less.

After the season ended and the tears from the Jacksonville loss had dried, head coach Mike Tomlin said the Steelers needed to get younger and better in the trenches. I don’t always understand Tomlin’s coachspeak but I guess by “younger,” he meant re-signing the 34-year-old Kirschke and by “better” he meant re-signing the guy who had to be replaced for poor play. Perhaps Tomlin knows something we don’t. Maybe he’s hoping that Ryan “Steely” Mcbean will, in his second year, gain the bulk, strength, athletic ability, and knowledge of the defense which will allow him to contribute to the team in a useful way. At this point, I’d give anybody a shot to break up the law firm of Kirschke & Eason.

Player Personnel Director Kevin Colbert would like to address the defensive line with a 2nd or 3rd round pick but we also need offensive linemen and there’s the big tall drink of water Ben Roethlisberger wants at reciever so, as I always tell my father, you can’t please all your mistresses. Once you’re past the third round or so, you probably won’t find any better quality than you already have. In which case, I hope they keep Booger’s number on the speed dial because, hey, maybe that healing factor will kick in eventually.

None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. The big goose egg. No, not the approximate nutritional content of a bag of Cinnamon Sun Chips, the snack fat people eat to pretend they’re eating healthy, and my latest game day food of choice. I’m talking about the number of sacks the Steelers much maligned offensive line surrendered to Cincinnati this Sunday.

Granted, nobody was about to confuse the Bungles with the New York Sack Exchange or Blitzburgh when it comes to rushing the quarterback. They were on the lower end of average in the NFL in that category. However, the past three weeks we played teams dwelling in the cellar of those standings, yet still managed to offer them Ben Roethlisberger on a silver platter time and time again. Not this week, though. Cincinnati arrived with 18 sacks as a team and guess how many they’re leaving with? 18 baby! Good bye. Thanks for coming. See you next year.

Overall, I’d have to say last night’s game on the soggy tundra of Heinz Field was, top to bottom, the best game the Steelers have played all year. It couldn’t have come at a better time, as barring a miracle, next week we take on the Greatest Team In The History of the Universe (from now on referred to as GTITHOTU). You might also know them as the undefeated New England Patriots.

Sure there were a few worrisome spots. The Injury of Mysterious Origin™ to Najeh Davenport severely cripples us at running back. As John Madden pointed out, something strange is afoot regarding his foot because he wasn’t even listed on Friday’s final injury report. And Willie “Like Buttah” Parker had a terrible time holding on to the football, losing two out of three fumbles, although luckily the one that got returned for a touchdown was the one they overturned. Sure the ball was slick but nobody else had that much trouble so either Willie needs a new pair of gloves or needs to learn the fine art of Stick’um. But why dwell on the negatives when there were so many positives?

WR Hines Ward had a career day, catching 11 balls for around 100 yards and two scores to surpass John Stallworth as #1 on the Steelers all-time receiving TD list. He made the big catches in traffic all day long. Big Ben, managing to stay upright and not running for his life every third play, made the throws he needed to make in less than ideal conditions and scored a big touchdown to jump start the offense. And for the first time this season, our special teams actually played quite well. William Gay and Lawrence Timmons had some nice open field tackles on coverage which give me hope that aspect of our team is finally on the mend.

Our defense turned in another stellar effort. The line and linebackers hurried and harassed Carson Palmer all day long. Despite the injury to Troy Polamalu, the secondary did an outstanding job covering Cincinnati’s Big Two + Chris Henry. CB Ike Taylor was especially wet blanket-esque, totally stifling Ocho Cinco for most of the game. If our secondary can bring their A-game next week, things could get very interesting in Foxboro.