You better watch out.  You better not cry.  Better not pout.  Who cares if we get a fine.  Blitzburgh is comin’ to town…

I thought the drop of semen being collected from a certain bathroom in Georgia was a shoo-in for strangest picture I posted this year.  But it may have been edged out at the last minute by Santa Silverback and his merry men singing Christmas carols.  Seriously.  Click this link if you don’t believe me.  Prepare to have your mind blown.

And your ears, too.

The fact I’m talking about James Harrison performing the most badass version of Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town in history instead of last night’s game should be a clue to those of you busy wrapping gifts or putting the drunken moves on your boss at the office Christmas party that you didn’t miss anything.

The Pittsburgh Steelers laid a 27-3 beat down on the Carolina Panthers in a battle of teams moving in opposite directions.  The final score doesn’t begin to tell you how one-sided this truly was.  Put it this way, I’m as nervous as anybody when it comes to holding leads but when the Steelers went up 10-0 early in the second quarter, I had no doubt the game was over.

The Panthers are terrible.  Absolutely terrible.  The next time I moan about our offensive woes, remind me about this game.  As bad as things are at times, watching Carolina’s comical attempts at offense shows how much worse they really can be.   The Panthers had 119 yards of total offense last night.  I repeat, 119 YARDS FOR AN ENTIRE GAME!

31 of those yards came on their opening drive.  The Steelers D always starts slow until they get a chance to figure out what the other team is trying to do and make the necessary adjustments to thwart it.  In this case, Carolina tried to run (Big Mistake) while mixing in short sissy throws for Jimmy Clausen (Bigger Mistake).  Well, nobody runs on the Steelers so strategy #1 was doomed even though Jonathan Stewart’s 71 yards will cause our yards per game average to go up a little bit.  And Clausen is such a deer-in-the-headlights that once he was asked to face a rush and get the ball down field, strategy #2 headed to where number twos usually end up.

Despite facing a fairly untalented bunch, the Steelers D deserves kudos for a terrific game.  They finished with four sacks, including one by Harrison which didn’t draw a flag.  IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!  When they weren’t sacking the Pickle, they were smacking him around like he was Tiny Tim.  Ike Taylor bottled up Steve Smith to the tune of 3 catches for 17 lousy yards.  Bryant McFadden intercepted a ball Clausen overthrew by about five yards while the special teams forced a fumble on a kick return.  Even when the Carolina offense was gifted great field position thanks to a Steelers miscue, there was almost no danger of them scoring.

In fact, I seriously doubt they could have scored a touchdown even if we were playing with ten men.

Ben Roethlisberger got his security blanket back and put Heath Miller right to work catching 5 balls for 73 yards.  Anybody who doubts Heath’s importance to this offense needs only watch the vast improvement of the passing game over last week.  Once again, they spread the ball all over the field with five receivers making multiple catches.  Rookie Emmanuel Sanders continued to open eyes with several nice catches although his failure to catch a bullet in the end zone cost the team a score.  Mike Wallace only caught four passes but that was good for 104 yards.  The Flash’s highlight reel play came on a five yard slant he took 43 yards for a TD, blowing past four defenders along the way.  Big Ben had a statistically great game (22/32 for 320 yards) but he twice mishandled the ball leading to sloppy turnovers.

Rashard Mendenhall had 18 carries for 65 yards with 35 coming on his first carry of the game.  Three plays later, he was stopped for a 5 yard loss when Jonathan Scott whiffed on a block.  Scott was pulled from the game where first Sean Kugler then Mike Tomlin ripped him a new one.  After throwing his helmet and pitching a fit, Scott eventually went back out there and finished the game without further incident.  He’s still a major weak link.   The refurbished offensive line seems to be improving as pass blockers.  Ben was sacked three times (twice by budding star Charles Johnson) and had his magnificent nose re-broken although two of the sacks were because he ran around for thirty five minutes trying to make a play instead of just getting rid of it.

By rights, this game should have been a 45-3 blowout.  The only reason the score doesn’t reflect the lopsided nature of play was the Steelers continued to misfire in the red zone.  Six trips netted only two touchdowns.  Mendy banged one home while the other score required Big Ben to sneak it in after the line repeatedly failed to get enough push to power in from the 1.  It’s funny, Bruce Arians and Ben have said in recent weeks they think the problems inside the 20 result from being too impatient to score instead of taking what the defense is willing to give you.  Well, sure enough, every time they cracked the red yesterday, they’d start bombing passing in to the end zone.

You do realize identifying the problem is only HALF the battle, right B.A.?

Anyway, a win is a win, especially when that win puts the Steelers exactly where they want to be with one game left to play.  If the Browns were to upset the Ravens, the second seed would be clinched with a week to spare.  Although the chances of that happening are about as high as finding an attractive woman in Cleveland.  So more than likely, we’ll have to play out the string in order to earn our bye which, believe it or not, is probably for the best since teams which coast into the playoffs tend to go out early.

Finally, on a personal note, I would like to thank all my readers, new and old, for riding along with me this year.  I started this blog because I enjoy talking Steelers and, whether we agree or not, I thank each and every one of you who left a comment for taking part in the fun.  I’m off next week for holiday vacation and while I plan on updating my site at least a couple times, I may not have as much content up as you’re used to seeing.  So please bear with me until we get back to normal in 2011.  In the meantime, Happy Holidays and Go Steelers!

Thanks, Ryan.

The Pittsburgh Steelers continued their unfortunate habit of making games closer than they have any right to be, holding on to defeat the Cincinnati Bengals 27-21.  Can we please stop leaving “The Steelers should win easy this week.” type messages in the comments?   NOTHING is ever easy for this team.   The Black and Gold held a 27-7 lead IN THE FOURTH QUARTER and came within one James Harrison shellacking of blowing it.

The Bengals seemed hellbent on giving the game away from the opening kickoff.  Emmanuel Sanders put a nice hit on Bernard Scott and Jason Worilds pounced on the fumble.   Three plays later, Rashard Mendenhall bulldozed his way into the end zone.  On Cincy’s next drive, the Bungles continued their comical special teams play by getting the punt blocked.  This time, the Steelers had to settle for a Skippy Reed FG.

Spotted a ten point lead, you’d think the Steelers would cruise to an easy victory.  As soon as those foolish thoughts entered my head, sure enough Hines Ward fumbled away a WR screen pass (which Bruce Arians called approximately 195 times last night).  Terrell Owens torched Gay for a 21 yard TD and the game was on.

But wait…never underestimate the Bungles desire to lose.   Carson Palmer threw an ill-advised pass into triple coverage where it was intercepted by NPC reader’s pick for Mid-Season MVP Lawrence Timmons (good call).   Ben Roethlisberger hit Mike Wallace streaking down the sideline with a beautiful 35 yard strike and three plays later a dump over the middle to Hines scored a TD.  Actually, Hines was about half a yard short of a TD but inept Marvin Lewis had already wasted a challenge on the Wallace catch and didn’t want to blow his wad early.

While all this was going on, Steelers were falling by the wayside left and right.  I was watching the Bengals and a Ravens game broke out.  Brett Keisel’s balky hamstring acted up, Chris Kemoeatu had some sort of ankle problem, and the man who should be Rookie of the Year, Maurkice Pouncey, went down with a sprained knee.  It was like a preseason game with Doug Legursky at center and Jonathan Scott at guard.

Meanwhile, the Bengals injuries continued to be self-inflicted.  After a long return by Scott, Cincy missed a 51 yard field goal.   Starting almost at mid-field, Ben was able to hit The Flash for 24 yards.  This set up another Skippy boot to close out the half 20-7.

For those keeping score at home, that’s five huge Bengal-blunders resulting in all our points.

The Steelers tried running the ball in the second half but weren’t having much luck behind a banged up line.  When they did throw, Ben ran around like his pants were on fire (although in his case, that burning sensation is probably a gift from the loose women he associates with).  When he finally decided to throw after breaking four tackles and surveying the field for 35 seconds, it was mostly short stuff.  The Steelers had a golden opportunity to break the game open early in the third when Wallace blew past the entire secondary but Ben underthrew him by 2 yards.  In fact, the nicest deep ball all night was Antwaan Randle-El‘s 39 yard TD bomb to Wallace, who still had to come back for it.

That was the first play of the fourth quarter and put the Steelers up by 20.   The Bengals quickly responded with a 57 yard TD drive which took all of a minute and a half.  This time, T.O. was matched up against B-Mac and McFadden didn’t fare any better than Gay.  Perhaps giving every receiver an 8 yard cushion isn’t the brightest idea, Bryant.

On our next drive, Ben threw a crappy lollipop late into traffic and was picked off.  Although his final numbers weren’t horrible (17-27 for only 163 yards 1/1), they weren’t great either.  Four games into his comeback, something still seems off with him.  At times, like the fantastic over-the-shoulder throw to Wallace, you see flashes of last year’s Ben but the consistency isn’t there.   I suspect he’s trying so hard to be the hero his teammates and Steeler Nation already view him as that the pressure is rattling him.

The Bengals took the gift and scored another TD by gaining 1 yard.   Did I forget to mention they returned the INT to the 1 yard line?   No, I did not.   They took possession at Pittsburgh’s 36.   But first there was a bogus roughing the passer call on Casey Hampton then a phantom pass interference flag on Ike Taylor.  So Cincy managed to move the ball 35 yards without actually doing anything except looking at the refs and crying for a penalty.

Wait, I thought the Steelers got all the calls?

A twenty point lead had shrunk faster than Bret Favre in an ice bath.   With the score an uncomfortably close 27-21, the Steelers went Old School.   Defying all logic (Legursky was at LG, for crying out loud), they started pounding the ball down their throats.  Mendy ripped of runs of 8, 9, and 18 yards in rapid succession.  A lame draw play on 3rd and 6 (Why isn’t our superhero behind center throwing in that situation?), set up a 46 yard field goal.  Skippy shanked it as the Steelers were suddenly trying to out-bungle the Bungles.

You suck, Skippy.  I could put up with your whiny troll-doll lookin’ drunken idiocy when you made all your kicks.  Now, not so much.  Where’s Piotr Czech?

The Bengals moved down the field with little resistance.  Palmer was an equal-opportunity exploiter as he picked on all our inept corners.  A 20 yarder over the middle to a wide open T.O., who held on despite getting steamrolled by Troy, moved them down to the Steelers 17.   I’ve been very critical of T.O. but I have to give big props for yesterday’s performance.  He’s proven to be the clutch, gutsy veteran receiver Ochocinco has never been.

A penalty and three plays later and we were at 4th and 5 from the 12.  Palmer completed a first down pass to Jordan Shipley, who had the ball dislodged by a crushing blow from the Silverback.  Had Shipley held on to that pass, I have no doubt the Bengals would’ve scored the go-ahead touchdown.  And we would’ve had another fourth quarter collapse.

I don’t understand what goes on with this team at the end of games.  It’s like as soon as the scoreboard switches to Q4, everybody goes on auto-pilot.  It’s a disturbing trend on defense which began last season and continues to this day.  We thought no Troy and no B-Mac and no Smith explained the problem but there’s more to it than that.   And on the flip side, the offensive explosion we had last season and we expected with Ben’s return still hasn’t materialized.  Yes, we’re 6-2 and, yes, we’re as  good as anybody in the NFL but at this point I don’t think I’d be surprised if any of the Jets, Ravens, Steelers, Colts, Patriots, Chargers, or Chiefs went to the Super Bowl or didn’t win a playoff game.

It’s pretty much agreed that the NBA has the worst officiating of any major professional sports league.   How many other sports have had a ref (Tim Donaghy) thrown in the clink for fixing games?  Beyond simple corruption, the most common complaint is the arbitrary nature of the calls.  Basketball has something called a “Star Foul” which basically means if you’re a superstar and somebody breathes on you, they call a foul.  But if you’re some lowly bench scrub, you can get karate chopped by three guys while driving the lane and nothing gets called.

The NFL is fast approaching NBA level of ridiculousness.  They already have a different set of rules for star receivers (who are allowed to push off) and star defensive backs (who can mug a receiver without penalty).  Now they’re taking it a step further and singling out players who are violent.   Not dirty, cheap-shotty violence but tough, hard-hitters who play the game the way it’s supposed to be played.

Don’t believe me?

Last Sunday, James Harrison was flagged for the above hit on Drew Brees.  That obnoxious jackal Cris Collinsworth immediately chimed in that Silverback may face a fine for leading with his helmet.   I ask you, what is wrong with that hit?   It’s a form perfect tackle.

Today we hear there might be a fine for a late hit.   Silverback may have gotten there a half step late.   How many times has Ben been driven to the turf a step or two after he’s let go of the ball?   I don’t recall too many roughing  the passing penalties FOR the Steelers this year.  And I suspect I know why this is.

Like the NBA, NFL officials are operating under two sets of rules.   One is for nobody players who the league pays no attention to.  They can crash in on QBs whenever they damn well please without fear of flags or fines.   Then we have guys like Harrison, who the NFL has singled out again and again.  The refs are watching him with laser-like intensity and should he so much as glare at the QB in a menacing manner, they’re going to flag him.

Of course, this laser-like intensity still doesn’t seem to pick up the fact he’s held on practically every blitz.

Yesterday, James had a meeting with Roger Goodell which he said was “semi-productive.”  But was it quasi-fruitful?   Evidently not as Silverback was fined another $20,000 for the “late hit” today.  For those keeping track, he’s now been assessed a cool hundred grand for the crime of playing football.

He tried explaining to our pea-brained commish that he tried to form tackle Browns receiver Mohammad Massaquoi but the blundering fool brought his destruction upon himself by ducking his head.  The Ginger Dictator’s canned response?  “You’re a defensive player, and you’re responsible for whatever happens when you make contact with an offensive player.”

Think about the absurdity of that for a minute.

This Black and Gold Rebellion has even spread to Troy Polamalu.  Troy is one of the nicest, most soft-spoken guys you’ll ever meet.  For him to get riled up really says something.   He gave an interview to the Post-Gazette where he rightly charged Goodell has “too much power.”   Of course he does, that’s the way he wants it.   Never in NFL history have we had a commissioner so hellbent on sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

Troy got in some choice zingers which I’m sure our despotic Ginger will find some way to fine him for.   Free speech doesn’t exist in the NFL Dojo.  “Sometimes I think it just falls on deaf ears.”  said our Hall of Fame bound safety.  “But, you know, he’s got all the power; that may be part of the problem.” he concluded.   Fight the Power, Troy.

I haven’t written anything about the upcoming NFL labor strife because, honestly, billionaires fighting with millionaires is like asking me to choose between the Patriots and the Cowboys.  However, I really do hope the Players Union gets their act together for once and finds some way to get this out-of-control totalitarian under wraps.   Troy’s suggestion that some sort of player’s review board should consult on fines is a good one.  If your fellow players don’t have a problem with your hit, why should the league?

As I said before, I’m glad the Steelers are finally standing up to the NFL.  This past year has been an absolute disgrace with how he’s singled them out for unwarranted fines and suspensions.  It appears the team has reached a breaking point.   Not a moment too soon.

Sweet iPad, Stink.

The firestorm over the unwarranted fine levied against Pittsburgh Steelers star linebacker James Harrison reached a new level yesterday.   Silverback didn’t show up for practice and, through his agent, announced he was seriously considering retirement.   Why would this man who struggled for years and years to make it to the NFL give up his dream?   More importantly, why would he forfeit a $50 million dollar contract?

Because he’s standing up for what is right.

The game of football is a violent sport.  It’s been that way since the first game was played in Latrobe in 1895.  Yet the dictators who run the game have decided that we can’t have injuries and we can’t have violence and they’ve decided to levy outrageous penalties against those who play the game the way it’s supposed to be played.  It’s an insult to those of use who grew up watching football and it’s an insult to the players who CHOOSE to compete in the sport knowing the risks.

I don’t blame James for feeling hurt and betrayed by the entire process.  Harrison is a man of principle.   He signed up to play PROFESSIONAL football, not flag football or powder puff.  If he can’t play the way he’s used to playing, why should he continue?   If the league is going to impose ridiculous fines and possibly suspend him for doing what he’s supposed to do, why play?

I didn’t cover his absence yesterday because, unlike the hysterical media, I knew he would be back.   And, indeed, Harrison returned to the team this afternoon.  He couldn’t have practiced yesterday anyway.   It would be impossible to run plays on the wobbly legs he no doubt had after that epic screwing he received from the league.

Some talking heads have been critical of Silverback’s walkout, from Bozo the Columnist’s usual imbecilic rantings to fellow FanSided blog PhinPhantic’s completely nonsensical trolling.  Meanwhile, the players have been overwhelmingly upset about the new rules being put into effect.  Ryan Clark had this to say on Twitter.   You can see the anger flowing from Mark Schlereth in the above clip.  What’s happening to the NFL is nothing short of a travesty.

But no travesty is bigger than the $75,000 fine handed out to Harrison.   Luckily, Steeler Nation sprang into action.   One clever individual started a Facebook page protesting the league’s treatment of our Pro Bowl linebacker.  You can join the protest by clicking here.

For the record, let’s take one last look at some plays from Sunday and examine how hypocritical the NFL and the defenders of the shield are on this issue.   Since this is a really long post, you’ll have to click continue to read on:
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The 2009 Pro Bowl rosters were announced yesterday.  A grand total of two Pittsburgh Steelers were selected to the team.  James Harrison was named a starter, his third selection in as many years.  Casey Hampton was chosen as a reserve NT (behind the Ravens’ Haloti Ngata) marking his fifth appearance in the NFL’s annual all-star game.

As is usually the case with the Pro Bowl, it’s more interesting to talk about who didn’t make it than those who did.

Nobody was selected from the Steeler offense.  Remember, this is first time in franchise history that they have a 4,000 yard passer, two 1,000 yard recievers, and a 1,000 yard rusher all in the same season.  Not to mention Heath Miller, who has long been one of the best TEs in the game but is currently having the finest year of his career.  When you pile up those kind of statistics, one would think somebody should get Pro Bowl recognition.

Even though Hines Ward currently has roughly the same stats as Pro Bowl reserve Brandon Marshall, I can understand him not making the team.  His fellow players consider him “dirty” and in a popularity contest like this, his grittiness hurts his chances.  The same cannot be said of Santonio Holmes.  Coming off his Super Bowl MVP performance, many thought this would be ‘Tone’s breakout year.   I’m not sure I’d go that far but he’s currently tied for third in the NFL in total receiving yardage.  What really separates him is that of the top ten receivers, he’s third in average yards per catch.  I’d say that’s slightly more impressive than Wes Welker’s uncanny ability to catch ten 3 yard passes per game.

The other omission I’m sure will cause much agita among Steeler Nation is the snubbing of Ben Roethlisberger.  This one’s a little bit difficult for me because I really don’t see any argument for including him unless you think the Super Bowl winning QB should make the team by default.  He’s eighth in total yardage and his 23/12 TD-to-INT ratio isn’t very good.  Big Ben also suffers by playing in the same conference as Peyton Manning and Tom Brady.  It’s hard to put Ben on the team ahead of two of the greatest QBs in NFL history.  The only one you could quibble with is the third QB, Philip Rivers.  However, Rivers has a fantastic 27/9 ratio and his team has won twelve games this year.

Regardless, there are a ton of dropouts every season since everybody wants chosen for the Pro Bowl (due to contract incentives) but nobody wants to actually play in it.  Since the NFL stupidly moved it out of Hawaii, I’d imagine there will be even less desire to attend this year.  So of course I’m sure another Steeler or two will make the team before all is said and done.  Although being added because somebody else didn’t want to come is kinda like being the last kid picked in kickball.