Somebody once said, “Cheaters never win and winners never cheat.” That person was probably a loser. If being a modern day sports fan has taught us anything, it’s that honesty is not the best policy. You want to become the all-time greatest home run hitter? You cheat. You want to become the greatest pitcher of the modern era? You cheat. You want to win three Super Bowls in seven years? You cheat.

The problem with all this cheating is nothing can be done about it. Oh sure, rules can be changed or penalties can be stiffened so it doesn’t happen again in the future. But nothing can be done about the past misdeeds. Once the home run record is broken, it’s broken. Once the Super Bowl has been played, it’s been played. The cheaters have already won.

That’s why I’ve resisted writing about the newest revelations in the New England Patriots “Spygate” scandal. It seems our ever intrepid Senator Arlen Specter has uncovered a long, detailed history of sign stealing and illegal signal taping by New England coach/documentary filmmaker Bill Belichick. Included in those misdeeds are four instances where the Patriots pilfered signals from our beloved Pittsburgh Steelers.

Belichick has finally broken his silence on the subject. The main gist of his claim is that any information gleaned from those tapes was of negligible value. Really Bill? Then why even bother doing it? If watching grown men go through a complicated series of hand gestures is your idea of a hot Saturday night, more power to you. Mine usually involves a bucket of chicken and a stack of Katie Morgan movies so I won’t judge. However, that explanation is so weak, even Roger Clemens wouldn’t buy it.

Also, why were the Steelers a horrid 1-3 in those games? Coincidence? Strangely enough, I remember the AFC Championship game back in 2004 quite vividly. Hopes were high that year. Even though our quarterback was then rookie Ben Roethlisberger, he still managed to lead us to a 15-1 record including a 34-20 dismantling of the Pats earlier in the season. Alas, the game was an absolute disaster, with our team ending up on the wrong side of a 41-27 pasting. I remember how clueless and confused Ben looked. I remember how the Patriots seemed to be two steps ahead of him all game. I remember my Grandpa calling for Tommy Maddox because, as he very astutely pointed out, we needed a veteran quarterback who could be trusted to call an audible when it was obvious the defense was ready for the play about to be run. Strange how things start to make sense in hindsight.

Steelers owner, Dan Rooney, has come out in defense of the league. Of course he has. Rooney is nothing if not a good company man. The last thing he or any NFL owner wants are Congressional hearings into his sport. It doesn’t change the fact that something stinks and I’m not talking about “Cloverfield.” A giant lobster? Seriously? I waited 90 freakin’ minutes for a giant freakin’ lobster?

The key point here is the timeline. The Jets game was on September 9th. Commissioner Roger Goodell completed his investigation and penalized the Patriots on the 13th. The Patriots didn’t turn over the tapes and notes regarding the spying until the 17th. I repeat for emphasis, they issued the punishment before they even knew the extent of the offense. How is this possible? Is Goodell a pre-cog? Unless he and Tom Cruise go jet-packing around the slums of New York on weekends, the fact he imposed a penalty before he even knew the crime tells me he wasn’t interested in justice, he just wanted the issue to blow over.

As I already said, the problem is what can be done about this situation? If Specter holds a hearing and succeeds in finding out the depth of the Patriots skullduggery, what good does that do? We’ll never get that AFC Championship game back. The Rams or the Iggles aren’t going to be awarded the Super Bowl by disqualification like in a bad wrestling match. But I would like to see even more penalties imposed on New England.

It’s like the NCAA. If they discover recruiting violations from five years ago, you’re penalized going forward. This is how the NFL should handle it. The Pats other #1 draft pick this year? Gone. Their #1 pick next year? Gone. Monday night games? Gone. And how about this…Bill Belichick? One year suspension. Hey, if a college program did the kinds of things the New England organization did, we wouldn’t see them in a bowl game for 5 years. No Tom Brady on my television, no weekly columns by Bill Simmons to inform us how Belichick enjoys rescuing stray kittens* on his days off. And, hopefully, if instant karma really does get you, no Patsies in any sort of Bowl for quite a while.

*to sell to coat factories

Well, Mike, the wheels have officially come off. Off Fast Willie Parker and most likely off the Steelers’ chances to make do anything significant in this year’s playoffs.

For the roughly 90% of you who don’t have access to the NFL Network, thanks to either the selfish cable companies or the arrogant football league (whichever greedy corporate entity you prefer), last night’s 41-24 win over the St. Louis Rams saw Parker’s season end with a broken fibula on his very first carry. For all the bitching there’s been about the soddy tundra of Heinz Field, we forget that at least it doesn’t carry anywhere near the same level of injury risk as that damn artificial turf.

The loss of Parker, the NFL’s leading rusher going into the game, is catastrophic. Yes, the Steelers haven’t been their typical grind it out/ball control/power running team this year. And yes, we have opened up the passing game and thrown the ball more frequently than in previous seasons. But if history has taught us anything, it’s taught us to win in January, you need to have a high-powered running attack. More importantly, it’s also taught us for the Steelers to compete with the AFC Elite, like the Colts and Patriots, their only hope would be to play a ball control/grind it out type game. There’s simply no way we win a shootout against either of those teams.

Not to be a Bitter Betty but I wouldn’t get too excited about anything that happened last night against the Rams. Scoring 41 points sounds impressive except when you consider we scored them against what is quite possibly the most inept defense I’ve seen in the past two or three seasons. Seriously, they’re beyond terrible. And we play the Browns and Bengals every year so think about the territory that statement covers. I can’t believe D-coordinator Jim Haslett is associated with Pittsburgh in any way. He must have some Cleveland ancestry in him somewhere. It’s the only possible explanation.

Consider QB Ben Roethlisberger was 16 of 20 for 261 yards, with 3 touchdown passes, no interceptions, and a perfect score on the quarterback SATs. Hell, even Daniel Sepulveda, our punter, was throwing on these guys. The fat guy in the Jerome Bettis jersey wearing the black and gold beer helmet I see at every home game could probably lead an Elway-esque Drive against the Rams. I’d feel sorry for St. Louis except they won the World Series a couple years ago while we have the most abominable disgrace of a baseball franchise in recent major league history so I guess everything evens out.

Najeh Davenport ran for 123 yards on 24 carries and scored two touchdowns in relief of Willie Parker. Again, don’t get too excited about the Dump Truck because this was against a defense that would be improving if it reached a subpar-level. WR Nate Washington had two TDs, including one real nice deep ball. And Santonio Holmes played an outstanding game, especially blowing by the secondary for an 83 yard catch on the first play of the game. If nothing else, it looks like his ankle is better and he should be near 100% for the playoffs.

However, beyond the Parker injury, there were other ominous signs in this game. Both our offensive and defensive lines are still playing way below what is acceptable. The O-line gave up 4 sacks and Ben was eating the turf all day which means inserting Max Starks into the line up didn’t provide the anchor we desperately need. And defensively, we were once again getting gashed by a running back, Stephen Jackson. The only reason he didn’t have a huge game is because Marc Bulger was completing passes at will and their imbecilic head coach inexplicably decided to emulate the Pass 24/7 Patriots, except the Patriots, they ain’t.  Actually, our secondary having a terrible game actually helped in a way because the Rams would score so quickly, our offense could go right back out there and pick on their hapless defense. If St. Louis would’ve slowed things down and played more of a possession game to keep their D hidden away like that embarassing brother who lives in the basement, things might’ve gone better for them. The Steelers secondary did improve somewhat over the past couple weeks by not allowing any deep bombs (most likely because S Anthony “There isn’t a play fake I won’t bite on” Smith was replaced by Tyrone Carter) but they were giving way too much cushion which lead to a lot of easy completions, especially by slot receiver Drew Bennett. They did play a bit better in the second half but it was a 10 point game in the fourth quarter and only then, after the game had started to slip away, did the D begin to look like the D of old.

At least the Steelers have 10 days to rest and get things together for the season finale against the equally inept Baltimore Ravens. At this point in the season, to lose a crucial cog like DE Aaron Smith is one blow. To then lose your All-Pro stud running back, that’s just beyond devastating. I don’t know if Mike Tomlin walked under any ladders or broke any mirrors recently but it sure seems like if wasn’t for bad luck, he wouldn’t have any luck at all.

After the St. Louis Rams won the Super Bowl, their plan for the future was set. Dick Vermeil would retire so they would hand the reigns over to Offensive Coordinator Mike Martz. Martz served as a QB coach/offensive assistant to the Redskins the year before and helped turn them into one of the league’s most explosive offenses. When he took over the Rams offense, it quickly became known as “The Greatest Show on Turf.”

But, as everybody knows, in life there are no guarantees when you use the drive-thru and there are no guarantees in the NFL. The supposedly perfect marriage between Martz and St. Louis was never consummated. They reached the Super Bowl two seasons later and, despite being 17 point favorites, they wound up losing. Many fans never forgave Martz for that. And the team started to regress due to flaws in Martz’s coaching philosophies and by 2005 the relationship had deteriorated worse than Hulk and Linda Hogan’s, brother. Thus, out went Double M and in came former Vikings and Dolphins OC Scott Linehan.

Linehan isn’t as innovative or wide-open as Martz, but he’s definitely one of the better offensive minds in football. The Rams hoped to keep their explosive offense but couple that with a stout defense, often neglected under Martz. To that end, they hired former Steelers Defensive Coordinator, free from the hell that is being the head coach of the New Orleans Saints, Jim Haslett. This was supposed to be a big year for St. Louis. Unfortunately, a combination of aging stars, coaching errors, and tons of key injuries have made this a year to forget.

While the Rams go back to the drawing board this off-season, Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin must go back to the drawing board IMMEDIATELY. Myself, amongst others, have been noticing some serious fundamental flaws in this team for awhile now but those flaws were ignored when the team kept winning (against mostly inferior opposition). However, the past two weeks, both convincing losses to quality, PLAYOFF-BOUND, teams shows these flaws need to be addressed if we have any hope of doing anything come January.

Steelers Defense vs. Rams Offense

Unbelievably, the Rams had a hard time scoring points for most of this season. Of course, they haven’t had their full compliment of healthy offensive starters most of this season, either. Those starters are pretty much all back now which means don’t let the record fool you, this team can do some damage.

The offense is led by Central Catholic product, Marc Bulger. The Rams like to throw the ball deep and Bulger, when he’s on, has the arm strength and accuracy of a top-flight NFL quarterback. In the last two seasons, he’s completed 66% of his passes while averaging 8.12 yards per attempt, which is outstanding. His main problem is that he’s fragile and doesn’t like to be hit. If we can get in his face and knock him around, he will get rattled.

WRs Issac Bruce, Tory Holt, and Drew Bennett are all known for their deep play capabilities. Bruce isn’t the deep threat he once was and drops more passes now, but has shown he can still be a playmaker. Holt has some decent intermediate pass route skills, although you don’t see him go over the middle very often. Bennett has superb deep speed and either splits time with Bruce or serves as the slot in three and four wideout sets.

The big threat on offense will be RB Stephen Jackson. He’s a big load who’s had some shoulder and knee issues this year. When healthy, Jackson is one of the best tailbacks in the game. Last week, he rushed for 143 yards against a very tough Green Bay defense. And this week he faces a Steeler team that has suddenly become unable to stop the run.

Of course, “suddenly” should be translated as “Since DE Aaron Smith was lost for the season.” This is Item #1 on Tomlin’s drawing board: find a way to fix the run defense. I can’t believe one player makes THAT much difference but look at the rushing yards allowed with Smith vs. without him and even a blind man, or Bryant Gumbel, can see the difference. The law firm of Kirschke, Eason, and Hoke just can’t get the job done. They were getting blown off the line left and right against Jacksonville. It got so bad, they were bringing S Troy Polamalu up to support the run but if you depend on your safety to tackle the running back, that’s not good.

The Three Amigos of Bryant McFadden, Ike Taylor, and Deshea Townshend have the speed and coverage skills to deal with the St. Louis receivers. And James Harrison and our other linebackers should be able to get pressure on Bulger as their o-line is nowhere near as big and physical as Jacksonville or New England’s. Granted, this won’t mean much if Jackson is ripping off 8 yards per carry…

Steelers Offense vs. Rams Defense

Jim Haslett utilized the standard issue 3-4 Blitzburgh scheme while here but has since converted to the more widely accepted 4-3. Anthony Hargrove is probably too small to be a 4-3 DE and not agile enough to be a 3-4 OLB. He’s not a bad player by any means, just not a big threat in either position. Leonard Little is getting up there in years and pretty much running on fumes now. Jimmy Kennedy is slow and lazy and doesn’t really seem to do much. La’Roi Glover is another veteran that probably has only a couple season left and tends to tire because he just can handle that much of a load anymore. Because of these factors, the Rams have been fairly susceptible to the run this year.

This should be music to the ears of RB Willie Parker, who once again rushed for 100 yards last week in a losing effort. Time was, a 100 yard rushing day by a Pittsburgh back meant ball control and time of possession and a win for the Steelers. For some reason, we’re still running the ball effectively, at least on paper, but this hasn’t been translating to wins.

Item #2 on Tomlin’s drawing board will definitely be the play of the offensive line. Last week, it was painfully apparent that LT Marvel Smith is still in tremendous pain from the back injury that caused him to miss a couple games earlier this year. Two weeks ago, Mike Vrabel blew by him like he was standing still and last week Paul Spicer abused him. The Steelers have no choice but to start Max Starks and hope he can anchor the line like he did in back to back games where they only gave up 4 sacks total. C Sean Mahan was also whipped like a rented mule last week but I don’t think we have any other options at center. I can understand we have high expectations given we used to have names like Dawson, Hartings, and Webster at the position but I’d take AVERAGE at this point.

If we can keep QB Ben Roethlisberger upright, a pretty big “if,” he should be able to find some open receivers as the St. Louis secondary is nothing to write home about. The Steelers shouldn’t have any problems putting up points this week. The key will be, and I can’t believe I’m typing these words, if our defense can hold up their end of the bargain.