A little less than a week from now, the Pittsburgh Steelers will take the field in Jerry Jones $1.3 billion dollar tribute to his small penis ego.   Anytime the Black and Gold reaches the Super Bowl, that’s a good thing.  But to reach the big game the year it’s being hosted by our hated rivals makes it even sweeter.  It’s like throwing the biggest, baddest party on the block then watching as the guy you can’t stand leaves with the hottest girl there.

For those of you rich to afford the $2,500-22,000 price tag tickets are going for, have fun among the Cheeseheads.  Ticket buying trends indicated Green Bay Packers fans initially outbought Steeler Nation by a 2-to-1 margin although the trend has evened out.  I fully expect the crowd to be mixed as the Pack have a national following far superior to the laughably tiny fanbases enjoyed by the Seahawks or Cardinals.  So while the Black and Gold are really “America’s Team,” it won’t be a veritable home game like our previous two Super Bowl appearances.

Giving credit where it’s due, Cowboys Stadium does appear to be a first class facility.  Even sitting way up in peanut heaven like in the above shot, the sightlines seem excellent.  And if they weren’t, you could still watch the action thanks to the giant-ass screen looming like the Death Star a mere ninety feet above the field.  After paying $900 for your parking spot and making your way inside the stadium, you’ll be able to enjoy a vast array of first class amenities such as:

Stripper cages.  Yes, JerryWorld comes fully equipped with everything a discerning football could possibly want.  Cup holders, a full taco bar, and cage dancers.  Make sure you ask the parking attendant to slip you a few singles so you can show the ladies how much you “appreciate” their efforts.  Speaking of which, one thing you won’t see on Super Bowl Sunday are these:

Eyes up  here, perv.  I’m talking about cheerleaders.  Yes, Green Bay and Pittsburgh are two of only six NFL teams without cheerleading squads.  It makes sense the Pack wouldn’t have pom-pom girls since Wisconsin women eat so much cheese you’d never be able to find one who looks good in spandex.   Pittsburgh would have no problem fielding an array of gorgeous blue-eyed blonde haired Polish girls but our women actually watch football here in the ‘Burgh.

One sight you’re guaranteed to see on Sunday is the Terrible Towel. According to Amazon.com, Myron Cope‘s baby is the #2 best seller  in bed and bath products. Huh?  Using the Towel as a bath towel would be sacrilege.  Everybody knows the Terrible Towel is a flag, a fan souvenir, or, occasionally, a mini-skirt.

Speaking of which, have you checked out my Steeler Pride contest?   You have a chance to win some really awesome Black and Gold gear for your cell phone, iPad, or iPod.  Click right here to check out the contest details and how to enter.

Anyway, let’s give a big thanks to Jerry Jones for constructing such a magnificent palace for us to play in.  Enjoy this sight on Sunday, Double J.  Love, Steeler Nation.

This is why you can’t have nice things…

The Pittsburgh Steelers laid a 35-3 beatdown on the outclassed Oakland Raiders yesterday afternoon.  However, instead of talking about the Black and Gold’s finest effort of the season, we’ll probably spend the week discussing the pathetic events which occurred between plays.  This game was a travesty, a sham, a complete mockery of what we as NFL fans expect.  And I hold Roger Goodell, the NFL, and the Raiders responsible for this utter travashamockery of football.

We should probably begin with Raiders DT and lead thug Richard Seymour, who sucker punched Ben Roethlisberger after a 22 yard touchdown pass to Emmanuel Sanders.  Seymour was ejected for his Rampage Jackson-style right cross but that is not enough.  This was a criminal act the likes of which I have never seen on an NFL field.  The Ginger Dictator loves fining players for legal yet vicious hits in the name of protecting their safety.  How safe is it when you have goons like Seymour physically assaulting defenseless men after a play?

Seymour should not only face the stiffest fine ever levied but suspended for 2 to 3 games for his reprehensible actions.  In fact, I DEMAND IT.

As if the lousy sportsmanship wasn’t bad enough, the officials did everything in their power to ruin the game.  The Steelers set a team record with 14 penalties for 163 yards.  The Raiders as a team only had 182 yards TOTAL.  Ordinarily, I’d lay blame for this fiasco on the players and Mike Tomlin.   But I really have nothing to admonish them for since only about half those calls were legitimate fouls.

There’s a phenomenon known locally as Pittsburgh Paranoia.   It’s a feeling Pittsburgh sports fans have where they constantly feel leagues, networks, and especially the media either ignore or attempt to diminish our teams.  Usually I laugh at these conspiracy nuts even though there is a kernel of truth to their argument.  However, after yesterday, I’m fully on board with anybody who wants to argue the NFL is attempting to sabotage the Steelers.

Even now, some 12 hours later, I can feel myself slipping into a boiling rage over the grossly inept display of officiating.  The Steelers were called for two personal fouls on absolutely clean sacks, one of which negated a pick-six.  James Harrison, after clocking Jason Campbell, was flagged for coming down “with his full weight on the QB.”  So that’s a penalty now?  What about 3/4 body weight?  Or 1/5?  How much weight is permitted to touch a precious QB before a flag is thrown in this increasingly pussified game of football?  It was a form-perfect hit.  What’s he supposed to do?

The Ginger Dictator should just issue a press release saying, “James Harrison is no longer permitted to touch any quarterbacks under penalty of fine and/or personal foul.  Sorry, I just don’t like him or the Steelers.  In fact, if he scowls at the QB in a threatening manner, I may penalize that, too.”  It’s pathetic.

When the Steelers weren’t being called for phantom personal fouls, they were getting flagged for phantom pass interferences.  Ike Taylor, who was the man denied his pick-six, got flagged for PI on a ball that overshot the receiver by about 20 yards.  I could go on and on and on but I don’t know what to say.  This was the most atrociously refereed football game I’ve ever seen.  The league should be embarrassed.

Let’s talk some positives.  Sean Kugler continues to work miracles with the offensive line.  The starting group of Flo-Foster (starting for a benched Trai Essex)-Pouncey-Kemo-Scott was fairly impressive, keeping Ben clean and providing a nice pocket.  Meanwhile, the vaunted run D the mouthbreathers from Oakland who invaded my blog raved about was getting gashed until injuries to our already banged up O-line started piling up.  If this group can get healthy come playoff time, we might have something.  That’s a big IF, though, as Scott and Kemo were both hobbled leading to super-sub Essex entering at various points.  Then there was Pouncey, who was replaced by Legursky after re-injuring his gimpy knee early in the second half.

Big Ben was brilliant.  Of course, a late scratch of Raiders star CB Nnamdi Asomugha helped.  But this was the Ben we expected once he returned from his unfair uncalled for suspension.  Quick, decisive, and pinpoint accurate, the offense was firing on all cylinders after a few rough drives to start the game.  Ben completed 18/29 for 275 with 3 passing TDs and one 16 yard TD scramble.  I particularly enjoyed the 16 yard FU touchdown to Issac Redman with a little over a minute left in the game.

What was most impressive about the passing game was the variety of targets utilized in the attack.  Ben hit eight different receivers, six of whom had multiple catches.  Naturally, Mike Wallace had the big game (3 catches but 116 yards!   52 of which came on his lone TD.) but rookies Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders (whose leaping 22 yard TD catch was sweet) finally made some plays.  Hines and Heath were dependable safety valves, as usual.

On the flip side, the run defense was fantastic.  They held the Raiders to only 61 total yards on the ground, lowering their yearly yards against average yet again.  At the rate they’re going, this may end up being statistically the best rush defense in NFL HISTORY.  Harrison, when he wasn’t being unfairly persecuted, had a monster game, posting five tackles, two sacks, picking off a pass and forcing a fumble.  Ike Taylor also forced a fumble in addition to the pick-six he was denied.

Shaun Suisham made all his extra points so I have nothing to comment on in that regard.  Got a good laugh at the crowd roaring on his first PAT.  Enjoy the love while you can, Suissy.  We’ll be ready to run you out of town as soon as you shank a 35 yarder with the Steelers up by 20 in the fourth quarter.

I’m torn on what to take from this game.   There is the positive of our team playing tremendously on both sides of the ball which is negated by the fact the Raiders are a pathetic team.  I’m sorry, I truly gave them too much credit in my preview as it’s clear they beat up on a bunch of bottom-feeders and in reality aren’t in the same class as the league’s top tier teams.  Then we have the positive of being able to wash the taste from last week’s debacle out of our mouths.  Which is countered by this game being a debacle of a different sort, albeit one which ended well.  I guess at the end of the day that’s all that matters.

Over the past several days, rumors have been flying about what changes might be in store for the coaching staff of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2010.  When you go from Super Bowl champions to missing the playoffs, the fanbase naturally wants a scapegoat.  And the easiest target is usually either the quarterback or a coach.  Since we all seem to agree that the team has a good signal caller in Ben Roethlisberger, the ire has fallen on offensive coordinator Bruce Arians.

Well, put away the champagne. The circus will coming back to town next year.

Despite radio reports to the contrary, head coach Mike Tomlin has invited Arians back as OC next season.  Now, as anybody who has read this site regularly knows, I am not a member of the Arians Nation.  I frequently find his offensive philosophy frustrating and counter intuitive to what the team’s talent dictates.   However, as I’ve said all along, I was pretty certain that he would be retained for another year.   When you have a quarterback throw for 4,000 yards, two 1,000 yard receivers, and a 1,000 yard running back all in the same season for the first time in franchise history, it’s a little hard to justify starting over from scratch.

Yes, the team had a lot of trouble in the red zone.   Yes, they frequently pissed away chances to put games away.  And yes, it took them fourteen weeks to realize short screen type throws and 20+ rushes per game made for a much more effective offense than throwing a deep bomb every three plays.  However, blaming the offense for missing the playoffs is hugely unfair.   The offense actually averaged one more point per game than last year while the defense gave up 6 more.

In other words, the failure of this season was a total team effort.

While I doubt Arians learns from this year’s mistakes, I am not all that unhappy about giving him another season to straighten things out.  People (and I’m guilty myself) often have the kneejerk FIRE HIM! reaction when things don’t work out.   While that sounds great in theory, it’s much more complicated in practice.  I love Ben, I really think he’s a top five NFL quarterback.   But I also think he’s a bit of a meathead.  Part of his holding the ball for 4 1/2 minutes on every pass play seems to be that he takes a while to recognize what’s going on.   And this is with using same playbook for over three years now.   Can you imagine how he’d be if we brought in a brand new OC and he had to learn an entirely new system?

One coach who didn’t escape the ax was offensive line coach Larry Zierlein.   How Zierlein has kept his job all these years totally baffles me.   One would think sending bukkake porn links to Dan Rooney would be enough to get you canned.   I realize Ben holds the ball too damn long but when your line gives up 50 (or more) sacks EVERY YEAR, that’s putrid.   Not to mention, the run blocking schemes are so messed up that getting short yardage is always an adventure.   Perhaps the worst thing about Zierlein is his seeming inability to develop young linemen or improve veterans.  Young OL never get on the field unless they come into camp already with a degree of polish while I defy anybody to name any multi-year starter who has improved under Zierlein’s tutelage.

With a rash of coaching staffs getting the heave-ho, I’m sure the Steelers will be able to find an experienced line coach.   To be honest, I don’t think our line in past years has been all that great talent-wise, they were just coached up by the great Russ Grimm.  If the Black and Gold can find a similar grizzled old timer who can put some of their lazy unmotivated blockers (I’m looking at YOU, Max Starks) through their paces, maybe Arians will have an easier time calling a run on third and 4.   Hey, a guy can dream can’t he?

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