Bah-humbug!

The Pittsburgh Steelers tasted the bitter egg nog of defeat at the hands of the New York Jets by a final score of 22-17.  “Hands” would actually be the wrong appendage.  “Feet” is much more accurate.  For it was the Black and Gold repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot which allowed the overrated Jets to steal a game they had no business winning.

It started with the opening kickoff where the Steelers special teams reverted back to 2009 form.  Brad Smith took the ball and returned it for a 97 yard touchdown, barely being touched along the way.  This was the first of several miscues on the afternoon.  When you play an obviously inferior team such as the Jets, their only hope is to steal points through field position and special teams.  It was the Ghost of Lousy Kick Coverage Past haunting Al Everest’s usually solid crew.

Case in point, the Steelers first touchdown drive began on their own 4.  Going mostly with a no-huddle/shotgun, which means Ben Roethlisberger is calling the plays and not dumbass Bruce Arians, they threw early and often.  My suggested strategy paid off as the Jets over-hyped secondary was no match for Big Ben and the passing game.  Catches of 12 and 18 yards by Hines Ward contributed to an eight minute 96 yard touchdown drive.  The capper was a 9 yard bullet to Matt Spaeth, who would display his usual tendency to make a nice catch one minute then drop an easy one two plays later.

The teams exchanged field goals to finish up the half.  New York’s boot was set up by a 38 yard pass to Braylon Edwards.  I’ve been tough on Bryant McFadden but he played an excellent game yesterday, actually covering receivers instead of backpedaling before the snap.  On the Edwards catch, B-Mac had perfect coverage and sometimes you can only to tip your cap to the receiver/quarterback for making a great play.

The Steelers field goal came after a 13 yard catch by Spaeth and a 16 yarder to Mike Wallace.  They tried a nifty bit of TRICKERATION by faking a spike and then attempting to hit a streaking Wallace but Ben overthrew him by a mile.  In fact, Wallace was wide open down the sideline earlier in the half and was overthrown.  NOBODY CAN COVER MIKE WALLACE.

If Ben could only learn to throw a halfway decent deep ball…

The second half began with Ben finally hitting the Flash deep for 23 yards.  A nifty 21 yard run by Rashard Mendenhall (17 carries 100 yards against a fairly stout run defense) where he broke it outside after the lane collapsed highlighted a nine play 74 yard drive he’d eventually finish with a 2 yard plunge.  Two touchdowns in the same game?  By the offense?   Madness!

The Jets immediately answered with their first touchdown drive in 11 quarters.  At mid-field, Mark Sanchez hit Edwards over the middle for 15 yards.  Ryan Clark did what he was supposed to do, attempt to dislodge the the ball from the receiver, and was penalized for it.  It wouldn’t be a Steeler game without a visit from the Ghost of  Bullcrap Personal Fouls Present.  Form perfect hit, led with his shoulder, played football the way it’s supposed to be played, yadda, yadda, yadda…

Clark will no doubt receive a nice Christmas card from the Ginger Grinch over the next few days.

Gifted an undeserved first down on the Steelers 16, the Jets bumbled through three consecutive plays which left them with a 4th and 1.  Desperate Rex Ryan decided to go for it.  Lining up in tight short yardage formation, Gang Green attempted their own bit of trickeration.  Except theirs worked as they even fooled the cameraman who didn’t realize Nacho was running for the border until he was practically across it.

Late in the third, a lousy punt by Jeremy Kapinos failed to pin the Jets deep in their own end.  Later in the drive, Ryan Mundy came in unblocked on a blitz and missed Sanchez, who completed another pass to Edwards for 18 yards.  The defense didn’t play bad yesterday but they just aren’t game changers without Troy Polamalu.  The interceptions and huge plays are one thing but the missed sacks, vanilla blitz schemes, and the way Sanchez was able to use the middle of the field are all things which don’t happen if Troy is playing.

That play to Edwards was key in that it set up another FG.  A couple failed drives later, the Jets pinned the Steelers at their 3.  The punt was good but rookie Antonio Brown had a brainfart by letting it bounce behind him.  Why is Antwaan Randle-El on this team if you aren’t going to use him in those situations?  Captain Faircatch would know better.

On the Steelers first play, Mewelde Moore was thrown for a safety by Woodland Hills alum Jason “Twinkle Toes” Taylor.  Classic dumbassery from Arians.  Why run straight out of your own end zone when you can run sideways?  HE IZ SMATR TEHN U!?!

The safety put the deficit at 5 which was killer because the offense was moving the ball with ease so a game tying field goal would’ve been a mere formality.

Indeed, the defense forced a three and out after the free kick and Big Ben went right to work.  A sack-fumble had the Steelers facing a 3rd and 24 which they converted with a 29 yard pass over the middle to Emmanuel Sanders.  Sanders, who caught 7 balls for 78 yards yesterday, is showing a lot of promise as a slot receiver.  Although his best play was later in the drive where he beat Darrelle Revis like a shoplifter on Black Friday and had his jersey practically torn off his back to prevent him from making  the catch.  Naturally, nothing was called.

I guess pass interference does not exist on Revis Island.

It wasn’t the only near-miss on the drive.  A few plays earlier, Ben hit Flash over the middle for 18 yards to the New York 26.  Had Wallace not slipped making a cut, he would’ve had another 10-15 yards easily.  Shortly after the Sanders no-call, the Steelers had a first down on the Jets 10 with nine second left.  On their first play, Sanders broke free across the back of the end zone but Spaeth undercut the route and got in the way.  On the game’s final play, Spaeth found space in the corner but couldn’t come down with the catch after Ben scrambled to buy time.

Does Heath Miller make that grab?  I dunno.  But if I want somebody to pee their name in the snow, I’d call Spaeth.  If I want somebody to make a catch with the game on the line, I’ll call Heath.

While this loss sucked and the Saints didn’t do the Steelers any favors by some how managing to lose to the Ratbirds, not much has changed.  We still control our own destiny.  Beat the Panthers and Browns and the second seed is ours.  Get in the playoffs, get Troy, Heath, and maybe Aaron Smith back, and I’ll be more than happy to take my chances on a rematch.

You gotta admire Rex Ryan and his New York Jets.  It truly takes a special talent to garner so very much publicity while accomplishing so very little.  Bret Favre and the Dallas Cowboys have mastered the art.  When the story of the 2010 season is written, Rexy and Gang Green will prove worthy successors to that crown.

Let’s rewind back to 2009.  New York got off to a 4-6 start then won five of their last six games to back into the playoffs.  And by “back in,” I mean their final two wins came against teams who weren’t even trying.  First, a gutless Colts team flushed a perfect season down the toilet thanks to a lack of testicles.  Then the Bengals, who would choke against the same Jets a week later in the Wild Card game, treated their final regular season game as a glorified scrimmage.

Had either team shown the slightest sense of pride or honor, the Pittsburgh Steelers would’ve squeaked into the postseason with a Jets loss.  But credit where it’s due.  Once New York got into the Dance, they made the most of their opportunity.  Riding the league’s top-ranked defense and top rushing attack, they came within 30 minutes of a Super Bowl appearance.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. JETS OFFENSE

Last year, QB Mark Sanchez got by with handing the ball off and managing the game.  In today’s NFL, you need a QB capable of making plays if you want to get anywhere.  So the Jets spent the off-season adding weapons in hopes the Sanchize will improve upon his 12/20 TD-INT ratio of last season.  And it’s worked to an extent as his 16/12 split this season will attest.

Of course, there’s that pesky little problem of not having scored a touchdown in nine straight quarters still to deal with.

The Jets offense is pretty easy to understand since it mirrors the Steelers’ offense back during Ben Roethlisberger‘s early years.  They’re still basically a running team (6th best in the NFL). LaDainian Tomlinson has been reborn, on track for a 1,000 yard season a year after his career looked to be over.  He’s also reclaimed his spot as a threat out of of the backfield.  Second year man Shonn Greene provides a nice change-of-pace.

When they run the ball effectively, Sanchez is protected.  When they put the ball in his hands and tell him to win the game, they get into trouble.   Nacho had a few big passing days in comeback wins against bottom feeders like Cleveland, Detroit, and Houston which fooled the hysterical NY media into proclaiming he had arrived.  But in the last two weeks, where he’s thrown 33 and 44 times respectively, he has 0 TDs and 4 picks to show for it.

Of course, he would’ve had one touchdown last week if not for the butterfingers of Santonio Holmes.  It’s ironic that one of the most memorable catches in Steelers history was made by a guy notorious for dropping the ball at the most inopportune times.  Hard to believe somebody with the hand/eye coordination to bean a nappy-headed ho with a shot glass from 30 meters away can’t keep his eyes on an oblong pigskin that practically hits him in the hands.  Despite missing the first four games due to waking and baking, ‘Tone does have 41 catches and 4 TDs, only one less than he had all of last year.

Dick LeBeau loves young quarterbacks like Roman Polanski loves young…  Er, never mind.  The Jets have a pretty formidable receiving corps with Jerricho Cotchery, Braylon Edwards, and favorite target TE Dustin Keller rounding out the group but the question is can Sanchez get them the ball?  The Steelers top ranked run defense is so dominate they’re allowing a full 20 yards/game less than number two.  Since nobody can run on the Black and Gold, this game will come down to whether the linebackers can muss up the pretty boy while the swiss cheese secondary keeps the passing game in check.

The P-G is reporting Troy Polamalu aggravated his calf on that ill-fated INT-lateral against the Bungles and may not play on Sunday.  I’m not at practice but I find this really hard to believe.  Troy hurt his leg earlier in the Cincy game and, despite limping between plays, didn’t miss a snap.  I have to think if there is any way possible for him to be out there, he will be.  If he can’t go, it’s a huge blow (Understatement Alert!) as he’s won the past two games almost single-handedly.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. JETS DEFENSE

The Jets haven’t scored a touchdown in nine quarters.  The Steelers have scored two touchdowns in three games. BET THE UNDER!

While the Steelers may be playing without their safety, the Jets are definitely playing without theirs.  Former Raven Jim Leonhard was lost for the season after breaking his leg in practice.  Leonhard was the quarterback of the defense, responsible for recognizing the formations and calling adjustments.  Meanwhile, their other starting safety, Eric Smith, isn’t likely to play after suffering a concussion against the Fins.

And there are more issues with the secondary.  Pitt alum and Aliquippa native Darrelle Revis has battled a hamstring injury for the better part of this season.  He apparently aggravated it last week.  While Revis said he’s definitely playing, Mike Wallace + gimpy hammy is a perfect recipe for toast.

Opposite Revis Island is Cromartie Orphanage.  Antonio Cromartie provided excellent corner play early in the season but has been increasingly victimized in recent weeks.  I suppose it makes sense what with this being the Christmas season and all.  The poor guy has to be exhausted from shopping for his nine kids by eight women in six different states.

Since the Jets have the third best rushing D in the league, I think the Steelers would be well served to test their banged up secondary early and often.  As loathe as I am to praise the Patriots, they showed no fear in attacking Gang Green’s vaunted corners.  The Steelers would be smart to follow their winning blueprint from the 2006 AFC Divisional game against the Colts.  Come out throwing to get ahead, then take the air out of the ball as the Jets frantically play catch-up.

Of course, that Steelers team was a lot different than this one.  For one thing, they weren’t a group of human pylons in front of Ben.  In the Steelers favor, the Jets don’t have the greatest pass rush.  And Flozell Adams, despite the bum wheel, is expected to start.  However, the Bungles had one of the worst sack totals in the NFL yet smacked Ben around worse than Mel slapped Oksana so he best be prepared for another beating at the hands of blitz-happy Rex Ryan.

A short-quick passing game such as utilized by the Pats would help.   Unfortunately, Heath Miller is showing post-concussion symptoms and is expected to miss yet another game.   Yeah, that was $40,000 well spent, dirty Ratbird thug.  Of course, in theory, the Steelers should have a decent short passing game with Mewelde Moore, Hines Ward, and Antwaan Randle-El.  In theory.  In reality, we seldom see it because Bruce Arians is a bomb-happy idiot, Ben takes his sweet time getting rid of the ball, and the line does well if they allow him more than half a second of unmolested bliss to survey the field.

STEELERS TEAM vs. NFL OFFICIALS

Frequent commenter Zam suggested I include a brief note on the officials.  I thought that was a terrific idea since they often represent a bigger obstacle to winning than our actual opponent.  Speaking of the 2006 Divisional game against the Colts, this week’s crew chief will be Pete Morelli.  Steeler Nation will remember Morelli as the zebra who denied Troy the game-sealing interception in an obvious attempt at enforcing the NFL’s secret mandate to get Pey-Pey a ring.  So be prepared for an official who clearly has no problem following the league’s marching orders.  Morelli along with his entire crew donated $100 each to a local Pittsburgh charity which by my math is $124,100 less than James Harrison donated thanks to their witchhunt.

Mike Tomlin has a saying.  Actually, he has a lot of sayings although most are just his fancy way of lying.  But his phrase, “Steel sharpens steel,” is a good metaphor for this game.  The Jets have one of the best defenses in the league.  Either our bumbling offense will rise to the occasion or fall by the wayside.  Likewise, the Jets inept offense will face a unit unlike any they’ve faced this season.  Someone has to score, right?

Who said you can’t teach old dogs new tricks?

When Rex Ryan was named head coach of the New York Jets back in 2009, he immediately began the job of changing the culture of the organization.  His grand innovation?   Plaster the slogan “Play Like A Jet” in the locker room and all over the team’s training facilities.  What does that mean exactly?

Going by recent results, it means run your big fat mouth about how great you are and then barely squeak by bad teams while getting your ass handed to you by good ones.

“Play Like A Jet” also seems to mean “Play like a Raven.”   In this area, Rex has succeeded tremendously.  The Jets have perfected the dirty cheap-shot filled brand of football his gang of lawless thugs over in Baltimore have raised to an art form.  In fact, the Jets have done their role models one better by getting assistant coaches involved in the illegal shenanigans.

For those who have not heard, Sal Alosi, the Jets’ strength and conditioning coach, purposely tripped a Miami Dolphins gunner who was run out of bounds during a kick return.  The player did a face plant although wasn’t seriously injured.  Alosi was fined $25,000 and suspended without pay for the rest of the season.  However, if you examine the tape or a photo of the incident, something immediately pops out.

There was a second tripper on the grass knoll!

Actually, there were five trippers.  Look at those guys!  I haven’t seen such perfect formation since the Spartans repelled the Persians in “300.” The poor Dolphin was caught in a well-orchestrated crossfire.  Back and to the right!  Back and to the right!

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?   Well, according to ESPN, this wall of bystanders was no accident.  It’s actually a carefully disguised tactic used to disrupt a team’s kick coverage.  Naturally, Jets officials have denied using what has been described as an “unsavory technique.”

What?!?  The coach of the Jets, the former defensive coordinator for the Ravens, being involved in something unsavory?  I’M SHOCKED!  Never would I imagine the man who unleashed mayhem and thuggery in Baltimore would bring those same tactics to New York.  SHOCKED I TELL YA!

Keyaron Fox and Arnaz Battle better keep their heads on a swivel if they run along the sideline this weekend.