That’s New York Jets linebacker (and former Ratbird) Bart Scott voicing his displeasure with pretty much every prognosticator riding New England’s jock for the last two months.  Give Sal Pal a lot of credit for remaining calm while a crazed maniac cuts a promo with murderous intent in his eyes.  Sal has bigger balls than Tom Brady.  If that was Tommy Terrific conducting the interview, he’d just spike the microphone in the ground at the first sign of danger.

Scott’s WWE-style antics present an interesting contrast with the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Since the epic comeback against the Ravens on Saturday, I’ve heard many members of Steeler Nation wonder what Mike Tomlin said to his team at halftime.  Tomlin is an interesting guy because he strikes me as a fiery and passionate man but unlike Bill Cowher doesn’t have spittle-spewing nuclear meltdowns on the sideline.  Still, people have assumed he reamed the team a new one after that sloppily played first half.

Actually, he didn’t.  Hines Ward said on his Facebook page that “no rah-rah” speeches were given nor needed.   Ryan Clark was on local talk radio yesterday and backed Hines up.  He said the only challenge put to the team was Dick LeBeau telling the defense, “They forced their turnovers.  What are you guys gonna do?”  The Steelers let their actions do the inspiring, not their words.

Oh. and a little “Renegade” doesn’t hurt, either.

In a constantly changing world, it’s nice to know there are some things you can count on.  Politicians will lie, birds will poop on your windshield minutes after you’ve washed it, and the Cleveland Browns will always stink.

The Pittsburgh Steelers wrapped up the second seed in the AFC and a first round bye by laying a 41-9 pasting the hapless Brownies.  As I’ve said before, last year’s Thursday night debacle may have been the best thing that ever happened to us.  It gave Steeler Nation a reason to believe in a Rivalry which had become pointless, it fooled pitiful Clevelanders into thinking their sad franchise was in the same universe as the Steelers, and, most importantly, it ensured the Steelers would never take anybody lightly ever again.  What we saw yesterday was a team which has come full circle from that embarrassment of a little over a year ago.

Troy Polamalu returned to the line up and his presence paid immediate dividends.  Colt McCoy’s second pass of the day was batted by his own man right into Troy’s waiting arms.  It’s amazing how a rather pedestrian secondary looks so much better than they are when Troy is out there.  On the Steelers first play following the turnover, Ben Roethlisberger hit Mike Wallace with a 56 yard touchdown bomb and the route was on.

Big Ben hit the Flash with a 41 yarder on the Steelers next drive, setting up a one yard TD plunge by Rashard Mendenhall.  Mendy would bang home another one yarder later in the 2nd quarter as the Steelers scored touchdowns on their first four possessions.  Following a sweet diving interception by Ryan Clark, Ben hit Heath Miller at the pylon for another score.  After being slapped around for thirty minutes, the Browns’ balls finally dropped, forcing us to settle for a FG to ruin the streak with ninety seconds remaining in the half.

The passing game looked fantastic with Ben hitting eight different receivers while going 15/22 for 280 yards.  Wallace had another 100 yard day while Hines Ward and Heath provided steady hands over the middle.  It was rookie Antonio Brown‘s turn to shine as he caught 4 balls, including a nice 26 yard catch-and-run along the sideline.  The rushing attack was a little rough as Mendy finished with only 36 yards on 14 carries.  As painful as this is to say, I think going forward the Steelers will have to become more of a pass-first offense.  The patchwork line seems better at pass blocking than run blocking (Ben wasn’t sacked once) and, while I like Issac Redman, the team’s loaded with weapons at wide receiver.

The Steelers defense played a magnificent game with only a garbage time touchdown against third stringers marring their day.  Ziggy Hood had his finest effort of the year, recording four solo tackles (two for loss), a sack, and narrowly missing the quarterback a couple other times as he was a disruptive force all afternoon.  Lawrence Timmons was all over the field as he seems to be getting back to early season form.  The secondary held up well with William Gay playing in relief of a limited Bryant McFadden.  The Browns only managed one meaningful 80 yard drive which stalled at the Pittsburgh 2, where Eric Mangini decided to show the hostile crowd his mangina by kicking a field goal on fourth down.

At least you can always tell people you were on The Sopranos, Genius.

You could just hear the howls of protest from whining Yinzers when Ben and company came out to start the third quarter already up 31-3.  Big Ben capped off his nearly prefect afternoon by engineering a thirteen play 77 yard drive which consumed over seven minutes.  It was mostly pass plays which shows you can control the clock without running the ball.  The drive ended with a bit of TRICKERATION when Antwaan Randle-El took a reverse, stopped, and fired a bullet to Hines standing all alone in the end zone.

From that point on, it was a preseason game as rookies and back ups held the pitiful first team Browns mostly in check.  Jonathan Dwyer saw his first action of the season and looked okay.  Byron Leftwich didn’t fare as well, getting sacked twice and looking a bit confused at times although he can still fire the pigskin.  Part of the problem was superstar rookie Maurkice Pouncey left the game with a stinger so he was stuck with Doug Legursky as his center.

What more can I say?  I know I joke a lot about Pittsburgh Paranoia and stuff but Steeler fans tend to be a pretty optimistic bunch.  I remember when I was a kid and Mark Malone was behind center for the Black and Gold and overhearing my Dad and uncles saying, “You know, they just need a couple more players…”  If that’s not crazy optimism, I don’t know what is.  But between the most tumultuous off-season in Steelers history, the quarterback mess to start the season, a very challenging schedule (we ended up playing 6 playoff teams), the injuries to an already mediocre offensive line, and the Ginger Dictator and his zebra striped minions attempting to screw the team over on a weekly basis, I don’t think even the most die hard Steeler fan could’ve envisioned we’d be sitting in this position at the end of the year.

I had a bad feeling when the Steelers kicked off the year on September 12th.  Here on January 3rd?   All I can say is, “I’ve gotta a feeling….”

With one more game left to be played, the road to the number two seed and a first round bye for the Pittsburgh Steelers couldn’t be clearer.  Win at Cleveland and it’s a done deal.  Although rivalry games are usually cause for concern, we could not have chosen a better opponent.  Not only are the Browns a mediocre team, their soul-crushing upset of the Steelers last season is still fresh on the Black and Gold’s mind which means they will be ultra-focused this weekend.

Brady Quinn?  WE GOT BEAT BY BRADY FREAKIN’ QUINN?!?!

The Baltimore Ravens stomped the Browns to fine paste on Sunday so we remain tied with them at 11-4.  However, the Ravens have two division losses while we only have one giving us the edge in tiebreakers.  If they should win their final game while we lose, they’d take the #2 seed by virtue of a better AFC record.  The Ratbirds are playing the Bengals this weekend.  Cincy is coming off their best game of the year, knocking the San Diego Chargers out of the playoff picture thanks to a four TD pass performance from Carson Palmer.  Funny how well he plays when TweedleDumb and TweedleDumber are both injured.

The 10-5 Kansas City Chiefs are the only other team with a chance to catch the Ravens and Steelers, record-wise.  However, they have a 6-5 conference record while both Pittsburgh and Baltimore are 8-3.  So no matter what happens, they can’t win the tiebreaker over either team.  They’re basically only playing to lock in a #3 seed over Indianapolis, who need a win to hold off the Jaguars for the AFC South title.

*Whew*  This sure beats last year when even my advanced calculus training didn’t help me understand the infinite possibilities required for the Steelers to back in to a Wild Card.

Warning:  Do not continue reading if you’re currently taking mood stabilizers or experience severe depression when your favorite football team fails.

For over a month, I’ve been harping on the fact that the margin of error for the Pittsburgh Steelers was increasingly small.  After disgracing themselves against the Cleveland Browns, the playoff window might as well be officially closed.  Except, it’s not.  After another crazy weekend of NFL action, the Steelers are technically still alive.

Well, on paper anyway.

The AFC playoff race has been extremely tight in recent years.  In 2007, the Browns went 10-6 and still missed the Wild Card.   Last season, the Patriots finished 11-5 yet found themselves sitting at home come playoff time.  While I consider that moment of Schadenfreude fitting payback for Peepin’ Bill and the Fighting Belicheats, it does tell you how stacked the AFC has been.

However, it looks like this year may be different.  A quick glance at the current standings posted above reveals a log jam of 7-6 and 6-7 teams.  No fewer than seven teams are currently tied or a game out of the final Wild Card spot.  While there’s always the chance somebody catches fire and wins out, it more likely appears that a 9-7 team will sneak in to the post season.

This means all your Steelers have to do is run the table.   Then they need some help.  Without going into all the possible playoff scenarios, I will say current #6 seed Jacksonville has to play Indianapolis and New England the next two weeks.  Assuming they flame out, that leaves things wide open for the rest of us.  Remember, the Steelers hold a head-to-head victory over Tennessee and face Miami in week 17.

Of course, conference record is going to be key.  When more than two teams or two teams that haven’t met face-to-face are tied, they go to AFC record as the first tiebreak.  Miami and the Jets are currently one game better in conference than the Steelers.  Tennessee is a game behind.  Baltimore appears to be the biggest threat.  Their conference record is two games better than Pittsburgh plus they have a head-to-head win.  Even if the Steelers win the rematch, they won’t be able to leapfrog the Ratbirds unless either Chicago or Oakland knocks them off.

This is all crazy speculation and wild fantasy, though.  The Steelers aren’t going to make the playoffs.  Know how I can be so sure that the Black and Gold will find a lump of coal in their postseason stocking?   Look at the bottom of that playoff chart, right below where it says, “Eliminated.”   What do all the teams already out of the race have in common?

They’ve all beaten the Steelers.