And so, the time has come at last…

For the past two weeks, you’ve no doubt heard an endless parade of “experts” analyze the match-up between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers from any number of angles.  From Ron Jaworski and his 172 hours of tape study to Shannon Sharpe mumbling something in his mush-mouth assassination of the English language, everybody has an opinion.  It’s paralysis of analysis to the nth degree.  When it comes time to determining the deciding factor in Super Bowl XLV, it comes down to one simple thing.

Slippery balls.

No, I’m not speaking of Ben Roethlisberger‘s unbreakable pair.  I’m referring to John Clayton’s assertion that Super Bowl balls are slippier than regular game balls because they have extra logos painted on them.  The Professor, you see, believes Aaron Rodgers‘ inexperience with gripping the special Super Bowl edition may lead to an unfortunate accident or two.  Makes sense as that tends to happen when squeezing strange and unfamiliar balls.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. PACKERS OFFENSE

GM Ted Thompson looks like a genius for jettisoning Brett Favre in favor of Aaron Rodgers.  He’s the modern-day gunslinger without the phony drama, overpriced Wranglers, and pictures of his junk floating around the internet.  Rodgers has the rifle-arm and quick release to be a clear heir apparent to the Brady/Manning duo as best pure passing quarterback in the league.  Working without benefit of a running game, Rodgers was a one-man show most of the season and rose to the challenge time and time again.

When he was healthy that is.  See, the story the media has sadly missed out on because they were too busy analyzing videos of Big Ben singing “Piano Man” is that it is very likely Rodgers suffered a concussion in the NFC Championship game.  If you watched his performance, there was a clear drop off in his timing and accuracy after the helmet-to-helmet hit by Julius Peppers.  Being the man he is, and not a rifle-armed vagina like Jay Cutler, I have no doubt he told whatever lie he had to tell in order to stay in the game.

Rodgers has been concussed before.  Twice this season alone to be exact.  If he did indeed suffer a third in less than six months, well, I wouldn’t expect to see him at Mensa meetings during the off-season.  And Steeler Nation no doubt remembers how poorly Ben played post-motorcycle accident when it was whispered the head trauma left him in a perpetual fog.

James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley must hit Rodgers early and often.  I’m not advocating anything dirty nor would I expect anything of that nature seeing as the Steelers play a clean but hard-hitting brand of football everybody but the Ginger Dictator loves.   But the Steelers D have long boasted the reputation of the biggest baddest bullies on the block.  On Sunday, the bullies have to rough up that goofy looking beanpole at every opportunity.

Rookie running back James Starks is a nice story but the Steelers historically dominant run defense shut down All-Pro caliber backs with ease so if they run, he’ll be the bug and they’ll be the windshield.  The game comes down to Rodgers and his cadre of excellent receivers against Dick LeBeau‘s creative blitz schemes and suspect secondary.  One factor in Blitzburgh’s favor is the shaky line of the Pack.  They surrendered 38 sacks a year after giving up a league leading 51 and now play a team who can bring pressure from unexpected places.

On the flip side, this will be the best passing attack the Steelers have faced all year.  The Patriots have a great quarterback but sub-par receivers.  The Ravens have great receivers but a sub-par quarterback.  The Pack have great talent on both ends of the equation.  Donald Driver is the dependable veteran.  Greg Jennings is a big play threat.  Slot men James Jones and Jordy Nelson cause all kind of match-up problems in four-wide sets.

Bryant McFadden practiced this week and appears to be ready to play his regular role after seeing limited action in our previous two playoff games.  A nickel of him, Ike Taylor, and Willie Gay is much preferable to seeing Anthony Madison or Ryan Mundy out there.  Troy Polamalu also practiced a lot more than usual this week which is a positive sign he may return to being the sideline to sideline demon which won him Defensive Player of the Year.  In last year’s Steelers-Packers shootout, the defense got to Rodgers five times without bringing him down.   Convert those opportunities to sacks and I like our chances.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. PACKERS DEFENSE

What more can be said about Ben Roethlisberger?  The man is simply the best big game quarterback in football.  His numbers haven’t been spectacular this post-season but he has an uncanny knack for making a play when one needs to be made.  There is a fire which burns inside him, an indomitable desire to win, which transcends any statistical measure of greatness.

He’s going to need every ounce of his legendary courage when facing a swarming defense coached by former Steelers defensive coordinator Dom Capers.  Capers has built a defense in Green Bay that is almost the mirror image of what we have here in Pittsburgh although their unit averages only 27 years of age.  NT B.J. Raji is a load in the middle much like our Big Snack.  OLB Clay Matthews is a relentless pass-rusher who can also drop back into coverage not unlike our Silverback.  Last year’s DPOY CB Charles Woodson is the rover, the piece who must be accounted for on every play because you never know where he’ll line up.  Doesn’t have the magnificent flowing locks, though.

Unlike the Steelers, the Packers strength would seem to be in the secondary.  In addition to Woodson, CB Tramon Williams is having a fantastic playoffs.  He’s the best cover corner on the team.  Rookie corner Sam Shields is the unit’s unsung hero, a speedster who can run with anybody.  Altogether, they make up the 5th best pass defense in football.

However, the unit is not without their weaknesses.  The outside linebackers opposite Matthews have combined for only three sacks.  Woodson, while crafty with a nose for the ball, no longer has elite speed at 34 years of age.  And while Raji has emerged in the playoffs, the Pack has been inconsistent against the run.  They finished 18th in run defense allowing 115 yards per game.

When the Steelers won their last Super Bowl, they did so without much of a running game.  Willie Parker was nearing the end of his usefulness as a featured back and the offensive line was mediocre at all positions.  Enter Rashard Mendenhall.  His performance in the AFC Championship game was a defining moment in his young career.

Maurkice Pouncey is a no-go for Sunday.  He gave it a shot but Mike Tomlin wasn’t happy with what he saw.  It’s a major blow without a doubt.   But remember Mendy rushed for almost all of his 100 first half yards with Doug Legursky at center two weeks ago.  Legursky is a natural center with a mauler mentality suited to running the ball.  Pouncey’s mobility in pass protection and ability to recognize defensive shifts and make the appropriate line calls cannot be replaced.  Their ability to run should not be as adversely affected.

Some people are predicting a shootout similar to the epic 2009 meeting.  With these two elite quarterbacks who can blame them?  While I believe the Steelers would be well-served to employ a ground and pound game plan similar to what they used against the Jets, Ben will have to air it out eventually.  That’s when things get interesting.  Hines Ward and Heath Miller have had better statistical seasons but they remain Ben’s go-to guys.   Mike Wallace has been quiet during the postseason although all it takes is isolating him on Woodson one time and he’s off to the races.  Then we have the rooks, Antonio Brown and Manny Sanders, who continue to impress on a weekly basis and have seemingly saved their best football for the biggest games of the year.

Despite the good-natured ribbing between Pittsburgh and Green Bay these past couple weeks, I believe there is a genuine respect between both teams and both fanbases.  And why shouldn’t there be?  This is truly a clash of the titans.  Number two overall defense versus number five.  Best big game quarterback in the league versus brightest up-and-coming young quarterback.  Terrible Towels versus Cheeseheads.  The City of Champions versus Titletown USA.

To quote a certain maniacal clown from The Dark Knight Returns, “And here we go…”

A little less than a week from now, the Pittsburgh Steelers will take the field in Jerry Jones $1.3 billion dollar tribute to his small penis ego.   Anytime the Black and Gold reaches the Super Bowl, that’s a good thing.  But to reach the big game the year it’s being hosted by our hated rivals makes it even sweeter.  It’s like throwing the biggest, baddest party on the block then watching as the guy you can’t stand leaves with the hottest girl there.

For those of you rich to afford the $2,500-22,000 price tag tickets are going for, have fun among the Cheeseheads.  Ticket buying trends indicated Green Bay Packers fans initially outbought Steeler Nation by a 2-to-1 margin although the trend has evened out.  I fully expect the crowd to be mixed as the Pack have a national following far superior to the laughably tiny fanbases enjoyed by the Seahawks or Cardinals.  So while the Black and Gold are really “America’s Team,” it won’t be a veritable home game like our previous two Super Bowl appearances.

Giving credit where it’s due, Cowboys Stadium does appear to be a first class facility.  Even sitting way up in peanut heaven like in the above shot, the sightlines seem excellent.  And if they weren’t, you could still watch the action thanks to the giant-ass screen looming like the Death Star a mere ninety feet above the field.  After paying $900 for your parking spot and making your way inside the stadium, you’ll be able to enjoy a vast array of first class amenities such as:

Stripper cages.  Yes, JerryWorld comes fully equipped with everything a discerning football could possibly want.  Cup holders, a full taco bar, and cage dancers.  Make sure you ask the parking attendant to slip you a few singles so you can show the ladies how much you “appreciate” their efforts.  Speaking of which, one thing you won’t see on Super Bowl Sunday are these:

Eyes up  here, perv.  I’m talking about cheerleaders.  Yes, Green Bay and Pittsburgh are two of only six NFL teams without cheerleading squads.  It makes sense the Pack wouldn’t have pom-pom girls since Wisconsin women eat so much cheese you’d never be able to find one who looks good in spandex.   Pittsburgh would have no problem fielding an array of gorgeous blue-eyed blonde haired Polish girls but our women actually watch football here in the ‘Burgh.

One sight you’re guaranteed to see on Sunday is the Terrible Towel. According to Amazon.com, Myron Cope‘s baby is the #2 best seller  in bed and bath products. Huh?  Using the Towel as a bath towel would be sacrilege.  Everybody knows the Terrible Towel is a flag, a fan souvenir, or, occasionally, a mini-skirt.

Speaking of which, have you checked out my Steeler Pride contest?   You have a chance to win some really awesome Black and Gold gear for your cell phone, iPad, or iPod.  Click right here to check out the contest details and how to enter.

Anyway, let’s give a big thanks to Jerry Jones for constructing such a magnificent palace for us to play in.  Enjoy this sight on Sunday, Double J.  Love, Steeler Nation.

Yesterday, hometown fans sent the Pittsburgh Steelers off in style with a raucous rally at Heinz Field.  An estimated 18,000 card-carrying members of Steeler Nation braved weather colder than your mother-in-law’s stare for one last opportunity to support their Black and Gold clad heroes before they head off for godforsaken (but seasonably warm) Dallas.  I tend to be a bit jaded when it comes to pro athletes, particularly football players and their massive egos, but the fact almost half the team (twenty-seven players) showed up for the festivities really speaks to the connection many of them share with this city.

Among the highlights were Brett Keisel, owner of the greatest playoff beard ever, singing the “Here We Go” fight song.  James Harrison acting typically badass before beat-boxing (?!) while Rashard Mendenhall busted a move.  The crowd going absolutely ballistic when “Renegade” played on the scoreboard.  And, of course, a chorus of boos greeting obnoxious mayor Luke Raven, er “Steelerstahl,” who didn’t reveal whether he would be attending the Super Bowl on the city’s dime like he did the Stanley Cup finals.

This display of Steeler Pride has inspired me to run one final contest before the big game next Sunday.  Awhile back, I was contacted by a company called Coveroo.  They sent me a snazzy Troy Polamalu emblazoned cover for my iPad which was the envy of all my co-workers.  Well, now it’s your chance to win some free Steeler swag of your own.

Coveroo creates custom phone covers, cases, battery doors, face plates and back plates for iPhones, iPads, BlackBerries, and dozens of other phones and portable electronic devices.  It’s not a skin.  It’s not a decal.  It’s not a cheap sticker.  It’s an actual casing that replaces your existing casing with one bearing a design of your own choosing.  You don’t need to send your phone, iPad, or iPod to Coveroo, just replace your existing case with the one they send you.

Coveroo holds cover-art licenses for many bands/musical artists, TV shows, and movies.  There are over 5,000 designs in their catalog, from university and corporate logos to cartoon characters and tattoo designs.  People can also upload any original artwork or designs they want, such as their child’s artwork or a favorite photo.  All you do is visit their website by clicking on or going to  Coveroo.com, choose the cover or case  you prefer, and they’ll ship it within 48 hours.

Best of all,  Coveroo holds an exclusive license for the Pittsburgh Steelers!  If you want your cell phone, iPod, or iPad pimped out in Black and Gold, this is your golden opportunity (check out the designs by clicking here).  You can also choose from any of their other designs (such as Pitt or the Pirates) but I’m going to assume people want use their electronic gadgets in public.

Usually when I run a contest, I tie it in with an upcoming game.  Unfortunately, there are no football games this weekend except the Pro Bowl, which can only loosely be defined as football.  I don’t want to tie it in with the Super Bowl because let’s face it, there’s already enough on the line as it is.  So I’m going to do something different, something inspired by last night’s rally at Heinz Field.

I want to see your Steeler Pride.  Other websites have had readers send in pictures of themselves waving Terrible Towels at the top of the Eiffel Tower or some such.  Therefore, I’m giving you the chance to represent Steeler Nation.  I want to know the person winning the contest is a diehard member.  That’s not unreasonable, is it?

Simply post a photo showing off your Steeler Pride.  It can be anything from a shot of your black truck with the logo painted on the hood to you dressed up as Troy for Halloween to your dog wearing a Terrible Towel themed ran slicker.  It can even be something as simple as you wearing the jersey of your favorite player (bonus points for females wearing actual authentic jerseys instead of those disgusting pink abominations).  I don’t care what you share as long is it shows you’re a member of the Nation.

Here’s the best part, I have three free Coveroos to giveaway.  THREE.  Since I want all entrants to have a fair chance, I’m going to put everybody who submits a photo’s name in a hat and then pick three winners.  HOWEVER, to reward creativity, people who submit a particularly unique or clever (or out and out crazy Steeler obsessed) photo will get multiple names put in the hat.

In other words, if you submitted a picture of your dog looking like this:

It’s one picture but instead of your name going into the hat once, you’d get three pieces of paper with your name in the hat because you’re awesome.  Note:  that was a professionally done grooming job.  Please don’t dye your dog yourself.  Noting pisses me off more than animal cruelty.  Also note:  I’ve seen plenty of fan-photos from the various Pittsburgh related websites on the web.  If you a steal a photo, I will call you on it.  Don’t be a dick.

Contest will run until Friday so you have plenty of time to get your photos in.  My blog doesn’t support images in the comments so you’ll have to just post the link.  If you’re shy or don’t have any way to get it uploaded, you can email it to me directly by using this email address (clickable):  nicepickchris@gmail.com

Good Luck.   And Go Steelers!

On Myron Cope‘s 82nd birthday, the team he loved the most gave him the gift which was undoubtedly at the top of his list.   Hum-Hah!  The Pittsburgh Steelers soundly defeated the New York Jets 24-19, earning a trip to Super Bowl XLV.  Sounds okel dokel to me.

Much like last week, this game was a Jekyll and Hyde affair.  Unlike last week, the Steelers got off to great start by playing one of the most dominant halves of football in playoff history.  The Jets had one yard rushing at halftime.  ONE YARD.  Before Dick LeBeau called off the dogs toward the end of the half, New York was staring at epic futility of less than thirty yards of total offense.

In a fitting tribute to Myron, the Steelers got off to their great start by going Old School.   Pittsburgh’s opening drive lasted fifteen plays and consumed over nine minutes, thanks to the tough running of Rashard Mendenhall.  This was vintage Stillers Football at its finest.   Mendy, who would have 100 yards by halftime, continued pounding the rock on the next three drives, running over and past the big green pylons who barely tried to stop him.

The only thing stopping the Black and Gold juggernaut was a sputtering passing game led by Ben Roethlisberger.  Big Ben’s best contribution came in the form of several key scrambles where he showed the guts and heart missing from sissy-girl cowards like Peyton Manning and Tom Brady.  Ben left a number of plays on the field, particularly underthrowing a wide open Mike Wallace early in the second and overthrowing a wide open Heath Miller on a play where Heath’s spectacular catch was later taken away by the clearly biased officiating crew.  When the game was on the line, Ben made the throws he needed to make but this was far from his best effort.

To be fair, Ben was facing the best secondary in the league.  After throwing only five interceptions all season, he threw two picks yesterday and very easily could have thrown two or three more.  His 55.3 quarterback rating was the second worst of his career, behind only his infamous Super Bowl performance against the Seahawks.  Playing most of the game with his key offensive lineman sitting on the sideline probably didn’t help.

Maurkice Pouncey was injured on the opening drive and spent the rest of the game on crutches.  Without him, the Steelers still managed to run the ball effectively throughout the first half.  The Jets couldn’t run at all while Mark Sanchez would throw five yard checkdowns on third and long.  After Ike Taylor forced a fumble on a corner blitz and William Gay picked it up for a defensive touchdown, the game appeared to be over.   Even going to a loose prevent type defense which allowed the Jets a face-saving last second field goal didn’t set off any warning signals.

Then the second half began and everything was reversed.  The breaks starting going the Jets way, starting with a quick touchdown on their opening drive when Face Me Ike slipped, allowing Santonio Holmes to run all alone in to the end zone.  The Steelers answered with a drive of their own but it ended badly when Ben threw his second pick on a fourth and two.  Offensively, Mendy would rush for only 26 more yards after his dominant first half performance.  Worst of all, Bruce Arians seemingly shut his brain off at halftime because he began dialing up some of the dumbest play calls I’ve seen all season.

THIRD AND TWO AND YOU GO FIVE WIDE EMPTY BACKFIELD?!?!   WTF?!?

The key to the second half was the drive New York began at the end of the third quarter.  LeBeau played a bend-but-don’t-break zone type defense, allowing Sanchez underneath stuff in exchange for time on the clock.  Down by two touchdowns, Gang Green consumed over eight valuable minutes of the fourth quarter driving down to the Steelers 2.  From that point, the Steelers D stood strong on four consecutive plays, finally stonewalling LaDainian Tomlinson on a fourth and goal from the one foot line.

If Steeler Nation started breathing a little easier after that, they should know better.  This team NEVER MAKES ANYTHING EASY.  On the very first play backed up in their own end, the absence of Pouncey finally reared its head when Ben fumbled a poor snap from back up center Doug Legursky.  Ben smartly fell on the ball, sacrificing a safety to save a touchdown.  But the two points and free kick signaled a clear change in momentum for the downtrodden Jets.

Sure enough, the Jets took the ball and drove for a touchdown to make the margin an uncomfortably close five points.  The bad news was a 24 point margin had shrunk faster than Bret Favre in an ice bath.  The good news is all these shenanigans had left only three minutes on the clock.  With three time outs and a two minute warning, Rex Ryan chose to kick off.   And that was Sexy Rexy’s fatal error.

As my granddaddy says, never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!  Or maybe that was The Princess Bride.   Anyway, you never put the ball in Big Ben’s hands when a game is on the line.  He’ll make mistakes, he’ll miss receivers, he’ll get the crap pounded out of him…  But when the pressure is on and you need a play, NOBODY IS CLUTCHER THAN BIG BEN.

After a run netted nothing, Ben hit Heath for 14 yards and a first down.  Two more runs later, the Steelers were staring at a third and long with two minutes left.  Thirty other teams would just run the ball, take time off the clock, then kick and hope your defense can hold for the final ninety seconds.   Not the Steelers.  Not when you have Big Ben.

Ben scrambled to his right, saw rookie Antonio Brown break open, and hit him with a strike for a first down.  I would call it a gutsy call but how much courage do you need when you have the best big game quarterback in the NFL behind center?  Great catch.  Great throw.  Game over.

Just like that, a season that began in turmoil is finishing up in JerryWorld.  But this really isn’t the end but rather a beginning.  The beginning of a two week odyssey which will reaffirm the Steelers position as the greatest franchise in NFL history.  An odyssey which will establish Mike Tomlin as the game’s brightest young head coach and Ben as the game’s greatest big game quarterback.

Here we go…

Late in the 2008 season, the Pittsburgh Steelers played the Tennessee Titans.  A Black and Gold squad exhausted from playing the toughest schedule given any team in the last thirty years was crushed 31-14.   What happened during that game is something which will long live in infamy among Steeler Nation.  Cameras cut to the Tennessee sideline where their running back, Lendale White, proceeded to desecrate the Terrible Towel.

The Titans finished 13-3 that season.  In their very first playoff game, the AFC’s top seed was one-and-done.   Meanwhile, the Steeler would go on to add Lombardi Trophy number six to their mantle.   Last season, the two teams met in the very first game of the year which Pittsburgh won 13-10 in overtime.   While the Steelers would have a disappointing season, the Titans stumbled to a humiliating 0-6 start before rallying late to finish a mediocre 8-8.

But the real story lies in what happened to Romper Stomper White.   In 2008, White was part of a platoon with rookie RB Chris Johnson. In the playoff loss to the Ratbirds, the team was driving late in the first half and about to score the go-ahead touchdown.  White fumbled the ball away and the team never got back on track.   Last season, Johnson emerged as the best running back in football while LenWhale saw his carries shrink from 200 in ’08 to a mere 64.   He was traded to the Seattle Seahawks during the off-season.  Before training camp began, he was released due to an impending four game suspension for failing a drug test.  Despite this,  Denver signed White but in the team’s final preseason game he tore his Achilles Tendon shelving him for the year.

Did Lendale break a mirror?   Open an umbrella indoors?   Walk under a ladder?   No, he did something much more foolish.

He messed with the Terrible Towel.