Well, that went better than expected…

Super Bowl XLV Media Day ended without incident for the Pittsburgh Steelers.  It was actually a fairly subdued affair with Troy’s hair, Brett Keisel‘s beard, and Ines Sainz‘s ass garnering as much publicity as the Green Bay Packers.  The Diesel’s epic facial hair inspired some of the best quotes of the day.  Asked if the beard was ready for the big game, Keisel responded, “The beard’s getting too caught up in all this media attention.  It’s basking in all its glory.  It needs to focus more on the game.”  Meanwhile, Antwaan Randle-El paid it the ultimate compliment by predicting it would win in a fight against Troy’s flowing locks.

The expected ambush of superstar quarterback Ben Roethlisberger never occurred.   Oh, the media jackals peppered him with a number of thinly veiled questions about his turbulent off-season but Ben was prepared to answer them with a friendly smile and good-natured quips.  In fact, he was so successful Deadspin was reduced to taking one sentence from an hour of interview time and making a forced unfunny joke so the trucker hat wearing fratboys who skim that site in between bong hits could giggle like Beavis and Butthead.

Watching Big Ben joke around with a little kid (an eleven-year-old from Dallas was there covering the game for his school paper) and speak so eloquently about his faith makes it impossible to not root for the guy.  Clearly, the mentoring he’s received from the Rooney Family, Bill Cowher, and Merril Hoge (who will be autographing copies of his fantastic autobiography at the BOOKS-A-MILLION in Grapevine Mills Mall from 4-5 P.M. this Saturday for those of you in the Dallas area) has allowed him to turn his life around.  Ben has clearly embraced the Christian values he learned growing up in Findlay, Ohio.  Truly only the willfully ignorant or stubbornly obtuse refuse to see Ben has successfully transformed into the hero he wishes to be.

One person who no longer fits that description is Steelers legend Terry Bradshaw.  With FOX broadcasting this year’s Super Bowl, their entire broadcasting team was also on hand for Media Day festivities.   Reporters asked the Blonde Bomber about his current relationship with Big Ben.

I hope this puts to rest any talk of T.B. “hating the Steelers.”  One of the things which makes Steeler Nation great is the fact we respect the history of our franchise.  It embarrasses me to no end when people rag on or attempt to discredit what Bradshaw did for this city.  He was exactly right when he said championships are the ultimate measure of a player’s worth and Bradshaw has the rings to back him up.  Still, the fact two of the greatest quarterbacks in NFL history have patched things up has to be heartening for any true fan of the Black and Gold.

While hugs were exchanged between Terry and Ben, one person feeling no love was Roger Goodell.  The Steelers used this platform to blast the Ginger Dictator at every opportunity.  Good for them.  He spent the entire year pulling one stunt after the other in his never-ending crusade to screw over the Steelers.  Only a blind man or an utter fool couldn’t see Ginger’s obvious vendetta against the boys from the ‘Burgh.

Hines Ward, donning a Troy wig (told ya the entire day was about hair), started by blasting the league’s hypocritical stance on concussions.  Max Starks went off on the Ginger Dictator for straight up lying about the “The Steelers Hate Ben” story Peter King published then later retracted from SI.  According to Max, if Ginger was so interested in player feedback, how come he refused to answer any questions about Ben’s unfair suspension when he met with the team during training camp?   But perhaps the OH SNAP moment of the afternoon was when James Harrison was asked about the clean aggressive hard-hitting style of  football men used to play before Ginger’s attempted pussification of the game.

Greatest  burn ever?   GREATEST BURN EVER.

Terry Bradshaw, the greatest quarterback in Pittsburgh Steelers history, had some wise words of advice for their current signal-caller.  Yes, I used the words “Bradshaw” and “wise” in the same sentence.  If you’ve ever been lucky enough to hear Terry speak in public, he’s actually a pretty smart guy.   He just plays up the aw-shucks hick aspect of his personality for television.   And the four time Super Bowl champion has concluded the same thing I’ve been telling my loyal readers since I started this blog three years ago.

Ben Roethlisberger is a dick.

Terry shouldn’t feel like he’s being singled out.  Bill Cowher also told Ben not to ride his motorcycle.   Of course, Ben didn’t get along with Cowher, either.  And, yes, Bradshaw made his share of mistakes when he was here.  But nothing ever brought the Steelers anywhere near the level of disgrace that Pig Ben’s recent actions have.

How does Ben sleep at night?

Well, he had to get up early yesterday for his meeting with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.  A freshly-shaved and de-mulleted Roethlisberger arrived bright and early for his meeting with Herr Roger. The meeting lasted several hours and Ben’s only comment upon exiting was that the meeting was “very productive.”  I can only hope Goodell channeled Dean Wormer and told him “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

Meanwhile, for those who didn’t heed my words a couple days ago when I said anybody who thinks the Milledgeville incident will be the last is sorely mistaken, a lawyer went on a radio talk show in Boston and revealed that he had been asked to look into a similar incident which occurred six months ago in Las Vegas.  While the lawyer quickly revised his comments to clarify he wasn’t accusing Ben of rape, he did say the incident involved a woman being invited to party with the drunken imbecile in a VIP area of a night club where she was subjected to “non-consensual sexual touching” by Mr. Rapistberger.  So either Ben has some serious self-control issues or he has absolutely no idea how to hit on a woman.

In any case, the city is rapidly turning against their disgusting quarterback.   Even his strongest supporters within the organization are cracking as current Steelers President Art Rooney II was described as “furious” after hearing the details of the Georgia incident.  Most tragically, our friends over at PLB Sports, maker of City of Champions Cereal, have invoked their morality clause in deciding to discontinue their line of Big Ben Beef Jerky.

When you’ve lost your beef jerky, you’ve truly lost it all.