What would we do without Philly?   Between their dumbass wide receiver spiking the ball a yard before he reached the end zone, their drug hoarding deadbeat dad of a coach, and their tubby quarterback who can’t run a hurry up offense without puking his guts all over the sideline, that team continues to be the NFL equivalent of an older brother who is fun to invite to parties but sadly still lives in our mother’s basement.

Anyway, in news related to the one team Pennsylvanians can be proud of, it’s the first double-dip of the season for the beloved Pittsburgh Steelers as the hated Cincinnati Bengals come to town for the second half of our annual two game set. Let’s hope it doesn’t end in a tie.

Since I already previewed the two teams, there’s no sense in repeating my brilliant and usually spot-on analysis. Instead, I’ll simply touch on issues relevant to the upcoming game.

Of course, the picture above is in reference to the Bengal’s tie against the Philadelphia Eagles, the first since the Steelers drew with the Dirty Birds back in ’02. I caught a bit of the game and it was less a hard fought battle and more a cripple fight. Philly didn’t seem too eager to win (although in Donavan McNabb’s case, he probably thought he had two or three more OTs to get the job done) while Cincy snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by shanking a 47 yard FG to win the game. Still, the fact the same fearsome Iggles team which handed us our worst loss of the season was battled to a standstill by Cincy should fill us with both fear and shame.

In fact, since we last saw the Bengals, they’ve actually started to play like a professional football team. They got crushed by Houston after losing to us but then went down to Jacksonville and beat the sissies in teal for their first win. Earlier in the year, they took the Giants team with only 1 loss and who beat us up into OT.  Despite the fact they’re a punchline to many jokes and this season will probably cost Marvin Lewis his job, they’re nowhere near as pathetic as say Oakland or Detroit.

To be fair, the 38-10 final score in our first game looks like a blowout but the game was a much closer battle than that. The Steelers were nursing a slim 3 point margin at halftime despite the fact Cincy QB Ryan Fitzpatrick was sacked every other play and they didn’t get into positive total yardage until the final drive of the half. Our offense didn’t perform much better until they figured out CB Jonathan Joseph couldn’t cover his mouth on a sneeze and beat him deep with Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington.

It’s a little perplexing how the Bengals have managed to stay in games. Harvard alum Fitzpatrick, frankly, stinks. He’s got the lowest QB Rating in the league (71.3!) and considering the talent this team has at WR, it’s amazing he only has 5 measly TD passes. They’ve all but given up on RB Chris Perry and handed main backfield duties to Bears castoff Cedric Benson. Chad Ocho Cinco has only quatro scoreos and is on pace for only about 500 total receiving yards. T.J. Houshalottaletters is one of the elite WRs in the league but that shouldn’t be enough to keep them competitive. But they have been.

The game will present an interesting match-up for the Steelers as 2/3 of the Three Amigos (Bryant McFadden and Deshea Townshend) will once again be inactive. Manly William Gay and Anthony Madison did a good job against San Diego last week although the weather helped a bit in that the Chargers speed in the vertical passing game was limited on the slippy chewed up field. Fernando Bryant looked shaky but he only had about 3 days of practice so if he does play on Thursday, let’s hope he’s a bit more up to speed. It looks the rest of the Blitzburgh D will be ready to go which is good news for those of us who enjoy seeing James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley chase QBs like a dog chasing a bone.

Offensively, it appears RG Darnell Stapleton will be good to go which means it’ll be the usual gang of idiots manning the OL. Well, LT Marvel Smith is listed as out, too, but at this point I think it’s safe to just give up on him permanently. Fast Willie Parker managed to play an entire game without incurring another injury so we might just have him in the starting line up for two consecutive games. Hooray for modern medical science and/or Oxycontin! FWP will be a big addition because Cincy has a horrible run defense which should allow him to pile up a good amount of yardage.

Despite the Bengals playing gamely in the face of certain doom and the historical fact of them tending to rise to the occasion when they play us, there really is no excuse for us to lose this game. A great offensive performance won’t mean much but it would be a baby step in the right direction. As the Steelers gear up for the final month of the season and, hopefully, a playoff run, bringing that offense along one baby step at a time should be one of the main goals each and every week.

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Greg Warren.

Every week my game previews make note of which key players are injured. I’m sure many of you check to see if Fatboy Hampton has made weight or if Willie Parker had an unfortunate run in with some crab grass and is out for the week. I’m also pretty sure if I mentioned Greg Warren very few of you would care. In fact, I bet only the most diehard members of Steeler Nation even knew we had a Greg Warren on our team.

Looks like Greg’s a lot more important than we thought.

The injury to long-snapper Greg Warren set in motion a series of tragic events which turned a narrow victory for the Pittsburgh Steelers into a crushing 21-14 defeat at the hands of the New York Football Giants. It was a bruising game filled with hard hits and numerous injuries on each side. Both teams were 5-1 but needed to prove themselves against top flight competition. Now that it’s over both teams might be left with more questions than answers.

Thanks to a superior defensive effort and two big plays on offense, the Steelers clung to a 14-12 edge until late in the 4^th quarter. Forced to punt from their own 8, LB James Harrison stood under center replacing Warren, who had been carted off the field with a season ending ACL tear earlier in the half. The Mighty Silverback launched the pigskin between his legs, whistling the ball over the head of P Mitch Berger and anybody else who isn’t named Yao Ming. It sailed out the back of the endzone for a safety, tying the score. The ensuing free kick set the Giants up at mid-field where they took advantage of a tired Steeler defense to score their first TD of the day with 3:00 left on the clock. A few minutes of brutally bad offensive football later, Pittsburgh had their second defeat of the season.

The defense didn’t create any turnovers and the G-Men took the Blitz out of Blitzburgh by holding the top pass rush in the NFL to zero sacks. However, the Steelers did a great job of bending but not breaking as they limited the damage to field goals. RB Brandon Jacobs knocked over puny S Ryan Clark like a bowling pin several times early on but at the end of the day none of the NY backs broke 40 yards.  DE Brett Keisel had his best game as a Steeler in coming up big as an effective run stuffer.

WR Plaxico Burress didn’t start the game, thus proving a new multimillion dollar contract and Super Bowl winning TD catch is not the cure for being a moron. Head coach Tom Coughlin held him back until the 2^nd quarter when he evidently decided winning the game was more important than disciplining his players. Not that it mattered much as CB Ike Taylor rendered Burress a non-factor. Other than a clutch catch by Amani Toomer on the final game winning drive, none of the receivers made any impact.

Honestly, the only reason the Giants managed to put any points up on our defense was because they were stuck in a hole pretty much all day long. For one, every single NY scoring drive started at mid-field or in Steelers territory. Even the most mediocre offense can usually get into field goal range when they begin on the opponent’s 45 yard line. The other major problem was the D seemingly spent the entire game out on the field. When our offense scored, they scored quickly. Every other time they were 3 and out. There was no rest for the weary warriors in the Black and Gold.

And definitely no help from our offense. The Steelers have fallen into this disturbing trend where things are feast or famine. We either rip off huge chunks of yardage in big play fashion or we bumble and stumble through three poorly designed and poorly executed plays then punt. The first TD was on a 32 dash by RB Mewelde Moore. The second was a 65 yard bomb to WR Nate Washington. Everything else was one or two series and out. There were no long time-consuming drives. No sustained offense. They were 1 for 10 on 3^rd down conversions. Feast or famine.

The O-Line is going to take more heat because they gave up 5 sacks and allowed about 18 QB knockdowns in only 30 pass attempts. Max Starks and Chris Kemoeatu had especially poor games. That right side of the line was like a leaky dam allowing Big Blue defenders to pour in on almost every pass play. I especially enjoyed Starks clever technique of pushing the on-rushing defender like a little girl on a swing hoping the gentle nudge would be enough to derail the 320 freight train steaming toward our quarterback. $7 million well spent. But, to be fair, I don’t think they were what cost us this game.

I place the blame squarely on the sore shoulders of QB Ben Roethlisberger. He had by far his worst game of the season and other than the first few post-motorcycle & spleenectomy games in 2006, possibly his worst game as a pro. He threw 4 interceptions. 2 of them were Favre-ian “toss it up and hope your guy comes down with it” prayers, one was thrown with no Steeler within 5 yards, and one was not his fault (hit Nate in the hands but the defender knocked it loose and it caromed into a LB’s big paws). He repeatedly missed wide open receivers. Washington was open on that deep pattern on at least two other plays, one was negated due to a penalty but Ben missed him on the other chance by throwing the ball late which allowed the CB to break up the play.

In fact, that was Ben’s biggest problem all day. Holding the ball. I can’t get upset about a lot of those sacks/knockdowns because at least HALF of them were caused by Big Ben himself. He took “waiting too long” to a whole new level. One-two-three-THROW. How hard is that to understand? You can’t sit back there and survey the field for 10 seconds and expect not to get hit. The line would hold the fort for a good 3-4 seconds but he’d start dancing around as soon as he took his drop. Every play it was hike, step up, shuffle left, skitter right, cock his arm… Then eat grass. You can’t do that in the NFL on a regular basis and expect to succeed. Or survive without injury for that matter. Memo to Roethlisberger: You’re not Kordell Stewart.

In the midst of the terrible offense, noble defense, and crushing defeat came a whole slew of injuries. Despite the dire predictions by the Post-Gazette, most of our starters did return for the game, including Fatboy Hampton, Aaron Smith, and Troy Polamalu. However, in addition to Warren’s game-altering injury, we also lost S Ryan Clark to what appeared to be a dislocated shoulder. Ike Taylor and Nate Washington were both banged up although both manned up enough to return to the game. Speaking of which, Mitch Berger proved that punters are indeed men as he looked to have either torn a hammy or a groin in his non-punting leg because he was hopping around in obvious pain after every kick. He might need replaced as a one-legged punter is roughly as useful as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

Many of the so-called experts called this game a preview of Super Bowl XLIII. If the Steelers hope to make these predictions come true, there needs to be a whole lot of improvement on the offensive side of the ball over the next nine weeks.