Some of the “old” guys of the Steelers defense. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

What We Learned This Week in the NFL Offseason:

• Bill Belichick and the Patriots ruin a potential Tebow-Free NFL season
• Patriots owner Robert Kraft pouting about “stolen” Super Bowl ring
• Cincinnati Bengals chosen for HBO’s Hard Knocks
• Warren Sapp still thinks Steelers D is “old and slow”

We were right there.  Right on the brink of being saved from the insanity that has been perpetuated on us involving everyone’s favorite backup quarterback, Tim Tebow.  So friggin close.  In a move that most likely sent ESPN executives skipping up and down the halls like it’s the last friggin day of school the New England Patriots signed Tim Tebow to a deal this week, keeping him in the Sports Center rotation for God knows how long.  There was talk his NFL career was done, that not even arena league teams wanted his services, hell even his hometown Jacksonville Jaguars didn’t want to go near him and they suck!  The move reunites Tebow with Josh McDaniels, the Patriots offensive coordinator and former Denver Broncos head coach, and the man responsible for the surprising 25^th overall draft pick of Tebow in 2010.  You know what the worst part about this is?  He’s going to succeed in some way, either actually or by whatever way ESPN is going to spin his contributions into making it seem like he’s successful all so they can verbally kiss the rear end of Belichick some more and crown him a genius yet again.  Thanks a lot Bill.  You suck.

Not everyone in the newly crowned Tebowland of New England is happy these days.  In a very bizarre story, Patriots owner Robert Kraft is upset that he still hasn’t gotten one of his Super Bowl rings back from Russian president Vladimir Putin.  Apparently Kraft showed the ring to Putin while on a trip to Russia for some rich-guy reason and Putin took the ring and has been displaying it in the Kremlin library as a gift ever since.  Well now Kraft wants it back and says it was never intended to be a gift.  Apparently the Russian President is calling “no givezies-backzies” however, making Kraft just beside himself with worry that he cannot reunite one of his Super Bowl rings with the other two he has.  I feel for you buddy, but not really.

The Cincinnati Bengals have been reportedly chosen to star in this season’s HBO installment of Hard Knocks.  The team took center stage in the documentary in 2009 when they had much more colorful characters such as Chad Johnson, Carson Palmer, and the late Chris Henry.  Now they have a bunch of boring guys along with James Harrison to show America that they can have all the talent in the world, but still probably can’t win a playoff game.  Maybe they’ll finally get to the bottom of why their stadium smells like cat piss.  Here’s hoping they have better ratings than last year’s Miami Dolphins Hard Knocks which featured the most entertainingly awkward on-camera firing of Chad Johnson in like the third episode, but was pretty much as boring as crap after that.

Apparently Warren Sapp isn’t done trashing the Steelers defense this year.  The rotund, broke, and soon to be enshrined HOF’er had already dubbed the Steelers defensive unit as “old and slow” in 2011 and has decided to recycle his comments for this season citing that seven of the 11 starters are over the age of 28.  I guess if you want to call a unit old, you can just use any age after 25 to make your point in today’s NFL.  Now I’m not agreeing with Sapp on anything.  If he said the sky was blue I’d be grumbling in the corner to myself saying “No it’s not.”  But that’s just me; I think he’s an idiot.  However, I think we’re all tired of seeing the Steelers defense get their top ranking but not look anything like the Steelers defense we know and love.  I really could give a crap if the Steelers defense ranks anywhere in the top five this season just as long as they can create some pressure on quarterbacks and grab some damned turnovers.  Please, guys, for the love of Myron Cope, shut Warren Sapp up once and for all.  And don’t shut him up with a paper ranking of #1 overall defense, shut him up with the defense we know and love.  The hard-hitting, quarterback sacking, turnover creating Steelers defense we’re all starving for.

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Roethlisberger hosted a charity event in Pittsburgh following the week of OTAs. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

What We Learned This Week in the NFL Offseason:

• Keyshawn Johnson goes after Justin Bieber
• Former wrestler calls out Tony Romo
• Eric Mangini hired by San Francisco
• Tim Tebow’s NFL career shockingly likely over
• Steelers Ben Roethlisberger hosts charity event to benefit Make-A-Wish

Sometimes the covering the offseason in the NFL can resemble a TMZ broadcast an awful lot.  How else can you explain Justin Bieber getting any kind of NFL news?  Well apparently this week formerly overrated wide receiver and now currently overpaid ESPN “analyst” Keyshawn Johnson went after the pop star for driving too fast in their neighborhood.  No word on whether or not Keyshawn would also like Bieber to stay off of his lawn, but we can only assume so.  Reports are that Justin was speeding his Ferrari through their neighborhood as Johnson was helping his 3 year old daughter into her electric car and Johnson hopped into his own Prius and followed the singer to his home where he says he witnessed Bieber switching places with an African-American passenger as they pulled into Bieber’s garage.  Johnson tried to confront the teen idol and is now telling anyone who will listen about his complaints about The Biebs.  Even more Keyshawn called Bieber “entitled” and said the whole neighborhood is frustrated at Biebs’ driving habits and overall etiquette.  I don’t know about you but Keyshawn Johnson calling someone else “entitled” gives me a giggle.  It’s kinda like the pot calling the kettle entitled.  Good luck to you and your neighborhood watch, Keyshawn, I hope you get those wild teenagers under control.

Since we’re covering cross-overs of pop culture into the NFL we might as well continue with another story that brings be to the laughing point.  Former WWF or WWE or whatever they’re calling it these days wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin called out Cowboys QB Tony Romo on his radio podcast this week.  Austin opened up the radio show to calls from listeners and was asked if he was a Dallas Cowboys fan.  He said that he was if the Cowboys “could get their (expletive) straight…”  He went onto add,

“My problem with Dallas is I think Tony Romo is a damn good quarterback, but he (expletives) the bed at the most inopportune times.  So when I look for leadership, I can’t say that Tony Romo is the clear-cut leader.”

Awesome.  Nothing like a former pro-wrestler who’s competitions had pre-determined outcomes, calling out your competitive abilities.  Romo has got to be feeling good about that.  Apparently Austin has a football background, having previously received a full football scholarship to the University of North Texas to which he dropped out to become a pro wrestler.  I’m not trying to start a debate here but, pro wrestling, honestly how is that still a thing?

The NFC Champion San Francisco 49ers have hired themselves an offensive mastermind in Eric Mangini this weekend.  If you’re not sensing the sarcasm, you’re clearly new to this blog.  Mangini is most commonly known at the coach who blew the whistle on the New England Patriots ‘Spygate” scandal when he complained to league officials that Belichick’s Patriots were filing his Jets’ defensive signals.  Mangini has most recently been an “analyst” for my favorite network after being fired by the Cleveland Browns and New York Jets.  The 49er’s second half offensive rally fell short in the Super Bowl and now that the offense lies squarely in QB Colin Kaepernick’s hands I suppose they felt that Mangini could be the perfect guy to get the best out of him.  Granted, Mangini didn’t have talented quarterbacks or offenses to coach in Cleveland but the man had Brett Favre in New York and went 9-7, failing to make the playoffs so yeah, good move San Fran.

Reports are that Tim Tebow’s “camp” is acknowledging that his NFL career might be over.  In other shocking news, the sky is blue.  If you want more information on how Tim Tebow is feeling today, consult ESPN.

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger hosted his second annual charity event for his foundation over the weekend.  The Ben Roethlisberger Foundation works with the Make-A-Wish Foundation as well as K-9 Police and Fire Units.  Ben hosted an event which featured his teammates, Maurkice Pouncey, Heath Miller, Brett Keisel, Kelvin Beachum, and Landry Jones offering their full support.  Roethlisberger’s K-9 foundation provides grants to police and fire departments in the Pittsburgh area as well as cities where the Steelers travel.  Roethlisberger also contributes to the Make-A-Wish, granting wishes to children with terminal illnesses.  Last year alone Roethlisberger helped grant 14 wishes along with raising $25,000 to fund wishes.

“It means a lot to me.  We are in such an awesome spot.  I have such an opportunity to give back to the community I call home.  Pittsburgh is home to me.  I love doing things for the community, for the kids, for people, just helping out.” – Ben Roethlisberger

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Pittsburgh Steelers 2013 Number 1 pick Jarvis Jones. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

What We Learned This Week in the NFL Offseason:

• 2013 NFL Draft concludes
• New York Jets pick Geno Smith and release Tim Tebow
• Packers sign Aaron Rodgers to giant contract extension
• Steelers finish up draft weekend by signing undrafted free agents

Each year the NFL Draft becomes a bigger and bigger spectacle.  Maybe because each year we’ve somehow grown hungrier and hungrier for even the tiniest bit of NFL action by April.  Whatever the reason, NFL junkies were full by Sunday night after seven rounds of solid picks, surprising picks, unpredictable trades, and Roger Goodell bro-hugs.  With the No. 1 pick overall the Kansas City Chiefs made OT Eric Fisher from Central Michigan the answer to many a trivia question for years to come.  Andy Reid made his first non-barbeque related move in Kansas City by drafting the tackle and hoping the unsexy pick proves to be a smart one.  Other notable picks from the weekend included the Miami Dolphins moving up nine spots to nap DE Dion Jordan, San Diego picking Manti Te’o in the second round, and USC QB Matt Barkley free falling to the fourth round and getting nabbed by Chip Kelly and the Philadelphia Eagles.

Undoubtedly there has to be a Brady Quinn in every draft now, a player who is projected to be picked early and shows up in his pretty new suit with his Mom, girlfriend, cousins, neighbors, and anyone else who wanted to take in the joy of getting drafted into the NFL and then just sits there round after round not being called and getting more depressing by the minute.  This year’s Brady Quinn was WVU’s Geno Smith, who was rewarded for his patience for not being called in the first round of the draft by being picked up by the Jets in the second round.  Poor guy.  Immediately following the pick-up of Smith speculation of the Jets moving Mark Sanchez surfaced but this morning it was Tim Tebow who got his walking papers.  The Tim Tebow Experiment in New York has come to an end and they were so nice they did it to him at a time where he most likely won’t get picked up by another team since we just had this thing called a draft this weekend where teams typically address all their needs and wants, if that could happen anyway seeing as how his “talents” weren’t exactly showcased in New York aside from that one shirtless jog in the rain he did.  Even with a new GM the Jets are still a train-wreck and I’d strongly suggest avoiding all ESPN coverage until further notice.  There’s no telling how low they’ll reach to continue to keep Tebow in their continuous coverage.  Best of luck Timmy, here’s hoping you find a nice place in Canada to play someday.

The Green Bay Packers made Aaron Rodgers the highest paid quarterback in ever yesterday when they signed him to a five-year $110 million contract extension.  Rodgers got an NFL record breaking $62.5 million guaranteed, blowing Joe Flacco’s deal right out of the water.  Apparently Rodgers’ cap-number should stay relatively manageable for the life of the deal for the Packers, never going over $21 million.  The Packers just resigned Clay Matthews to an extension last month, and apparently had made re-signing Rodgers a priority after that.  Rodgers and Flacco now join Drew Brees to have the biggest contracts of quarterbacks with just one Super Bowl victory.  If only this kind of money was floating around in Trent Dilfer’s time.

Your Pittsburgh Steelers concluded the 2013 NFL Draft weekend by adding 15 undrafted free agents to their nine draft picks.  The Steelers made LB Jarvis Jones out of Georgia their No. 1 overall pick when Jones was still available to them at their #17 spot.  In the second round the Steelers went offense by drafting Michigan State RB Le’Veon Bell.  Some criticized this pick as Bell is another “big back” and Alabama’s Eddie Lacy was still on the board at the time.  It’s been reported that the Steelers were not comfortable with Lacy’s toe injury he is nursing and were not convinced he’d be ready in time to risk the pick on him.  I’m a sucker for a big back in Black & Gold with good feet.  I sure as hell hope that Bell fits into this category.

The Steelers then went on to address needs at wide receiver, defensive back and even quarterback with the later rounds of the draft.  I’m not quite sure how I feel about the Landry Jones pick in round four still, to be honest with you.  I’m also a sucker for Charlie Batch.  I totally understand the move to sign a Bruce Gradkowski to a long term deal hopefully solidifying the backup QB spot for a while and I get that you need to start thinking about the future when Ben is not able to perform at a top level anymore but I can’t imagine the roster without Charlie Batch on it and that’s how it’s looking now that they’ve drafted Jones.    In the undrafted free agent pool the most notable player the Steelers picked up was Mike Golic Jr OL from Notre Dame and son of ESPN Radio Host Mike Golic.  Below is the complete list of draft picks and undrafted free agents from steelers.com.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS 2013 DRAFT PICKS

* Acquired 14^th pick (111^th overall) in the fourth round via a trade with the Cleveland Browns. The Steelers traded their 2014 third-round selection in return for the 111^th overall selection in the 2013 NFL Draft.

** Compensatory selection

PITTSBURGH STEELERS 2013 ROOKIE FREE AGENTS

What are your thoughts on the draft weekend as a whole, Steeler Nation?

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One of the 8 Steelers turnovers. Mandatory Credit: David Richard-US PRESSWIRE

What We Learned in Week 12 in the NFL:

• Jets embarrass themselves on Thanksgiving
• Lions screwed on controversial call
• Chargers let Ravens comeback to win in OT
• Steelers turnover victory to Browns

What’s worse than a Monday morning after a Steelers loss to the Ravens?  A Monday morning after a Steelers loss to the Browns.  There aren’t many things uglier than that game was yesterday.  If it had been an actual football team the Steelers were playing yesterday rather than the Brownies, it would have been a massacre.  We’ll get more in depth into that a little later; let’s get some aggression out first by taking some cheap shots. (more…)