Santonio Holmes Is Not Into Jennifer Aniston
By chris
Luckily for her ’cause by the time he finished knocking one out, she’d be walking funny for a week.
Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes made an appearance on Jay Leno’s “Tonight Show” this past Friday to talk about his post season heroics and show that Mike Tomlin isn’t the only snazzy dresser on the Pittsburgh Steelers. He’s auctioning off the gloves he wore when he made the game winning TD catch with benefits going to Sickle Cell research. Last I checked the bidding was up to a whopping $15,000 so let’s hope the bidder comes through with a fat check when the time comes, unlike the deadbeats who always stiff me whenever I try to sell my old “Magic The Gathering” cards on Ebay.
Holmes should be applauded for making this appearance at great personal risk. Everybody knows about the infamous photo of his ginormous wang which was posted around the interwebz last year. With his run-in with the law this season, I appreciate the fact he’s trying to reestablish himself as a good guy who made a couple dumb mistakes, such as being black while driving past Pittsburgh city cops.
Perhaps his biggest risk was being on the same show as Jennifer Aniston. The former “Friends” star is Hollywood’s poster child for clingy, needy, high-maintenance women. She’s been passed from one leading man to another more often than a joint at one of Santonio’s parties. Holmes is fortunate he escaped before she got ideas about dating a football star. I guess she was too busy promoting her new movie “He’s Not That Into You,” a chick flick out just in time for Valentine’s Day.
Speaking of which, I’ve been debating what to write about on this St. Valentine’s. I thought about discussing which Steeler jerseys make the sexiest lingerie (Polamalu and Lambert, easily) or 40 different ways to use a Terrible Towel as a sex toy. Then I thought, February 14th is for the ladies. So I’ll let a lady have the floor. This site receives about 400-700 hits per day so I’m guessing at least a dozen of you are females. I would like to give you a chance to write about whatever you want…why you agree with Victoria’s Secret that Mike Tomlin is the NFL’s sexiest coach, how you once dumped a guy because he was a Patriots fan, etc. Whatever you’d like. Just send me an email or leave a message in the comments letting me know you’re interested in being NPC’s first guest blogger.
In the meantime, please remember that a bowling ball is an excellent Valentine’s Day gift and even if you don’t like it, there’s no reason to roll it at your boyfriend. After all, the Bus loves to bowl so it must be cool.