Parker Runs From Steelers, Holmes Runs From Law
By chris
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The Washington Redskins have acquired a veteran who was once a Pro Bowl caliber star but has since fallen victim to age and numerous injuries. No, I’m not talking about Donovan McNabb. Although congratulations, Philly, you’ve finally ran off the most successful signal caller in your franchise’s pitiful history so you can have a different quarterback to hate for no reason. And he’s never even sexually assaulted anybody!
Back to things of interest to the Pittsburgh Steelers, former starting RB and Super Bowl XL hero Willie Parker has also signed with the Redskins. Fast Willie joins a crowded backfield with Skins mainstay Clinton Portis and the also recently signed Larry Johnson. I guess building a team with young hungry athletic players is for those fools who actually know what they’re doing. Nobody wins the offseason like Danny Snyder wins the offseason!
Sadly, FWP leaves the Steelers with bitter feelings as this article illustrates. Willie has always been an angry person so this isn’t surprising. Whenever the Steelers appeared on Monday Night Football, FWP always gave the name of his high school when introducing himself. He actually went to North Carolina but they buried him on the bench which he always blamed for him going undrafted. That he held on to that hate even after becoming the heir apparent to Jerome Bettis, scoring a big contract, and setting a Super Bowl record for longest TD run shows that he’s a man who knows how to hold a grudge.
Another Super Bowl hero, Santonio Holmes is now facing charges in the assault case I wrote about two posts down. That case continues to get odder and odder by the day. The police initially closed the case because the victim, Anshonae Mills, declined to press charges. She says she was pressured by the cops to let the incident go. Police accounts are she huddled up with ‘Tone and then told them she was not pressing charges, which sounds like he made some monetary promises he didn’t keep. Meanwhile, Holmes is not only denying he threw a glass at her but claims another woman did the deed.
In the midst of this chaos, Santonio has become a Twitter addict. Firing off dozens of messages every day, Holmes continues to show what a high quality education he received at THE Ohio State University. If not for my trusty Ebonics-to-English dictionary, I wouldn’t be able to decipher half of his incoherent ramblings. What I could decipher is the message above, wherein he tells somebody who scolded him for yet another brush with the law to go drink some Drain-O. Classy guy.
Considering the character of people the Steelers have on the roster at the moment, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.